18 July 2012
Gosh. This was difficult. I hope you're all awake to read it!!! <3 <3 <3
*Drew's POV* Why didn't I say it back? I know it's true. I just don't want to admit it. I don't want to admit I've fallen for another bastard. Not that Justin was a bastard, he was awesome, and really... well, sexy, but I just couldn't go head over heels. Not again. Not after what happened last time. I was broken. Taken, used, and then thrown out like trash. It was the worst feeling ever. I stopped eating. I stopped riding. I stopped everything. And then Justin came along, and he was... sweet. And I guess I protected myself for a while because I knew I would fall for him. "Don't trust anyone with your heart. Once they're in, they can break it from the inside out". I remembered my Mamaw telling me that one night after Poppa and her had argued. She was broken. Just like me. Justin needed someone new. Clean. Fresh. Some perfect, English blonde with stunning green eyes and a perfect body. Not me, a worn out, sarcastic Southerner that had been thrown around like I was in a boxing ring. We just didn't match. And now, we lay here, in the awkward silence, not speaking, and barely breathing. The lights were out, the curtains closed. No light whatsoever entered the room, and yet, I could still see the tear tracks running down Justin's cheeks. I had done that to him. It was my fault. I'd known he loved me since the first moment he met me. Heck, I probably knew it before he did. I tried to shuffle closer to him, and give him comfort, but he didn't let me. He turned over. Ok, one more try. I snuggled right up into him, putting my arm around him and giving him a small smile, even though I knew he wouldn't be able to see it. He shrugged me off of him, and moved away from me. "Justin, stop it" I whimpered gently, really wanting him to just hold me and tell me it was ok, he still loved me. "Justin. What's wrong?". No answer. He wasn't even asleep, and didn't even have the dignity to pretend like he was. He just lay there beside me, wide awake and angry. It didn't help that I could hear his breathing, and his heart beat pumping loud and clear. But it wasn't how a normal heartbeat should sound. Thump. Thump. Thump. It had cracks, and breaks in the sound, reflecting the state of his heart. I propped myself up on my elbows, just enough to see Justin's expressionless face. "Justin, I'm sorry. Please talk to me". I immediately regretted it. "Fine". Fine? Fine? Was that the only word in the entire English dictionary that he could manage to enunciate. Fine. That is the smuggest word every invented. It stresses that you are actually not fine, but the entire opposite. It should basically mean "Crud". "Fine?". "Fine." "Fine then". "Fine". Whoa. Confused. Ugh. "Justin, stop ignoring me!" I exclaimed, tugging on his shoulder. His body rolled over to face me, and he sighed, not really giving much away in his eyes or expression. This was getting really cruddy. I clambered out of bed, having had enough of this. Justin sat up, knowing there was a hurricane coming. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I exclaimed. Whoa. I just swore. I never swear. Ever. :O. This must be pretty serious. "Well, let's see shall we, You pretty much just told me you didn't love me!" he yelled back, jumping off of the bed. "I did not say that!". "No, but you implied it!". "You have no idea what it implied!". "Then tell me you love me Drew. Prove me wrong!". Silence. Nothing. We stood face to face, staring each other down. "You can't, can you? Because I'm not wrong. I'm right. And you know it". I couldn't argue with that. Even though, he was wrong. I just couldn't find the confidence and power inside myself to say it. He seemed to realise this, as he flew around my room, picking up his bags and walking out the door. I followed swiftly behind him "Justin, where are you going?" I called down the hall, not caring who I woke up in doing so. "I'm going home" he stated, making his way to the door. No. No. I jumped in front of the door, blocking his exit "Don't go. Please, you can't leave me" I begged softly. His eyes were cold and hard "Give me one good reason why I should stay". "Because you're my best friend" I began to choke up, feeling the tears spill over my eyelids. "That's not good enough". "Because you're too important, and I don't want to lose you". "Still not good enough". He pushed past me, and stormed out into the cold, rainy night. Clouds rumbled overhead in the darkness, hearing them made your heart pump faster than normal. I saw Justin make his way through the pouring rain towards his car. I had that feeling. The feeling that if I let him go now, I'd never see him again. I couldn't live with that. My mind ran through all the times we'd had together; good, and bad. All the times he'd made me laugh, and all the times he'd gotten me detention. All the times he'd made me smile and blush like crazy, and all those times where he frustrated me just for fun. The truth was, I loved every second of it. I loved every second with him. "Justin!". He stopped, and looked up at me, body dripping in rain water. I began to walk towards him, slowly but surely, preparing myself for what I was going to do. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, a feeling I only got when he was close to me. Even though that wasn't the case right now, it still seemed appropriate. I was about six feet away from him, soaked through my vest top and shorts, my slippers soaked through, when I said it. It wasn't that loud, and the rumble of the clouds covered most of it up. "I love you". "What?". Seriously? Of all the times to mishear me?. "I said, I love you!". A wide grin spread across his face as he dropped his bags to the puddle-filled concrete and made his way towards me "I heard you the first time, I just wanted to hear you say it again". I wanted to be mad at him. To be angry and annoyed he had ignored me all night. But all I felt right now was frustration. But the good kind, the kind when Justin would do something really stupid to make me love him even more than I already did. "Ugh. I hate you" I giggled, stepping close to him. "I know. I hate you too babe". And then he kissed me. It was nothing like the other times. It was true. We both knew exactly how we felt about each other. It worked so perfectly. My lips felt like they belonged pressed against his. His hands felt like they fit perfectly into mine. His heart and mine, intertwined. Kissing in the rain, huh? How cliché of us <3
Texas Girl (Pt 14) • Opuss № I