24 July 2012
This is shocking, choking, and heartbreaking. Read. Now. x
*Drew's POV* I knew he was lying to me. I knew he wasn't going to be there. He would be working the whole time. I knew it. Interviews, photo-shoots, recording sessions. He was lying about spending time with me. It was clear. That perfect, angelic smile on his face said it all. Behind the innocence and happiness, was many, many layers of guilt. I didn't seem to care though. I should be furious with him. Furious that he'd lie to me like that just to make me go to New York with him. But in fact, I was the exact opposite. He lied so he could have me. It was sick, and wrong, but it made me feel... special. Like if he wanted me that badly, then who cares what he did to get me? Even if he was lying to my face. He wanted me. Nothing could feel better than that. But did he really want me? Really? I mean, does he just think I'm hot, or does he actually... actually love me? He can't love me. If he did, he wouldn't keep doing this to me. Kissing me whenever something didn't go his way, or running his fingers along my hip if I was in a mood with him. If he loved me, he wouldn't do that. He'd talk to me about it. Sincerely... lovingly. He hadn't done that once. Face it Drew, you're just his play-thing.
*Justin's POV* I was lying to her. Again. All the time. It's all I do. Lie, lie, lie. Just to get what I want. I want her. She's mine, right? Sometimes, I think I really do love her. Honestly, I do. But, others... She's just a girl. An extremely beautiful girl. I'm a teenage guy. Is it wrong for me to want her? No, it's not. But is it wrong for me to make her feel like she's loved when really, she's just a play-thing? Yes. That's wrong. No, scratch that, it's demented. It's sick, and wrong, and demented. I wasn't raised like this. I was taught to treat women with respect, and here I am, with my Best Friend, and I'm treating her like dirt. Like a... bad word. She's not. She's good, and wholesome, and pure. I'm treating her like a prostitute. Kissing her when she doesn't do what I want, touching her when she's annoyed with me, or calling her cute names like "baby girl" or "pretty baby" because I know she finds it difficult to hate me when I say that. I'm playing with her heart. The question is: Does she know it? She can't. Drew's smarter than that. If she knew I didn't love her, and only kept her around to kiss and touch when it suited me, she'd be gone in a heartbeat. I'm surprised she's still here now. I swear she saw right through me earlier, when I told her I'd be there for her in New York. If the circumstances were different, if she had been from Chicago or Seattle, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have cared about being in such a big city by herself. She could have gone out to Starbucks or McDonald's and not give a shit. Drew was from Apple Springs. May I remind you of the population count: 2,654 people. Wait, no, 2655 - a woman down the street had a baby girl last week. Anyway, I understood why she was scared. Massive skyscrapers, not much room to breathe in the streets, scary hobos, muggers... *Gulp* rapists. She didn't want to go, and I should have accepted that. What was I supposed to do? Leave her here with Frank? No. No freakin way. I'll eat my Lakers hoodie before I leave her here with HIM. He doesn't even deserve a name. Frank will now be addressed as: HIM, or THAT GUY. Yes, I lied to her about having time together, but I was doing her a favour. Really. It was either Frank, or a hotel room. God I'm an ass sometimes. Sigh. I know what I have to do. I hate it, but it's right. ............................................................................ I pulled myself out of my thoughts, sitting up straight in my double bed. Drew mumbled and tried to tug me back down beside her by my shirtless shoulders. Trust me, it was tempting. I looked over at the clock on the bedside table. It read 5:26AM. Screw it. If I don't do it now, I never will. "Drew, Drew wake up" I shook her softly, and she made a groaning noise, keeping her eyes squeezed shut. "Drew I gotta talk to you. I promise you can go back to sleep after". Not that she'd want to. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want to even look at me, let alone sleep in my bed. She pulled herself up beside me, rubbing her eyes to adjust to the early morning light. "What's up?" she smiled softly, eyes still sleep-hazed as she leaned in to kiss me. "Don't.. kiss me, Drew" I shied away. If she kissed me, I'd never have the heart to say what I needed to say. Her expression changed from gentle and happy to concerned and alarmed in a heartbeat. "Justin... what's going on?" she whispered, trying to hide the evident hurt tone coating her Southern accent. Deep breath. I didn't have the strength to look at her any more. I stared down into my hands, tracing the lines of my palm with my fingers. "You're not coming to New York with me". Silence. Not awkward, but painful. I'd rather my Mom walk in with us making out than go through that painful silence again. "What?" her voice was quiet and sharp, almost as if she didn't believe it, or did, but just didn't want to. "You don't want to come to New York, so I'm going by myself. You're staying here, in Texas" I tried to explain it more clearly. My heart was telling me: What the crap are you doing? You want her to come right? Why are you telling her no? The entire lie of "Oh we can spend loads of time together like a happy family and eat room service till our heart's content" is so she'll go to New York. Why are you jeopardising that? I ignored it. "But I want to come to New York with you Justin". Too far. I exploded in anger, clambering out of the bed and yelling at her "No! No you don't Drew! You just think you do! I made you think you want to come with me, when really you're scared out of your life to be in New York by yourself!" I ran my hands through my hair. A tear began to roll down Drew's cheek. "But I'm not gonna be by myself... you said-". "I said what Drew? That we could spend time together and go out for lunch and shit! Why do you think I'm going for three months? I have so much crap to do that I don't even have time to breathe, let alone hang out with you and act all shitty and romantic!" I began to rant. More tears fell down her cheeks. I felt bad for making her cry. It was wrong, and it hurt to watch her hurt, but I was so god damn angry. Her voice was a shaky, begging noise when she spoke "I'll go with you, and it doesn't matter we don't have to be together all the time I'll just stay in the hotel and you can-". I cut her off again. "Drew! Stop it! Just stop it! You don't want to do that! I don't want you to do that! I don't want you there Drew!". Ok, that looked like it stung. That last sentence, looked like it was gonna bruise. "You don't... want me there" she repeated, almost trying to make sense of my words. Her eyes were tear-filled, her cheeks salt-stained as she brought in gasps of breath, uneven from so much crying. "No, Drew, I do not want you there". "Why not?". That's when I blew it. Totally. Everything. Everything we had ever had, all the arguments we had been through, romantic moments we had shared, they were all gone with five simple words, yelled at the most innocent of girls. "Because I don't love you!".
Texas Girl (Pt 20) • Opuss № I