20 October 2012
You. With your killer eyes and athletic swagger, the most popular boy that all the girls swooned over. You sent me a friend request on facebook when all the guys at school talked about me before we met. Then your parents introduced us at a graduation party later in the year where we stood together in the crowded room, completely fascinated with one another. After that, we both fell...fast and hard. I went to ballet camp and you went to running camp that summer and we would stay up past curfew talking on the phone. Everyone was jealous of the "perfect couple". We got home from camp and spent our days going to movies and eating lunch out after church on Sunday. Rumors flew that we were dating, but it really wasn't official. We went to a friend's party the week before school started back and you told me you loved me for the first time and we held each other close.
School started. We don't talk as much. Girls throw themselves at you. Boys want my number. You get overwhelmed with cross country. I get overwhelmed with ballet. You call me every night just for 5 minutes before you go to sleep, but your voice is quiet. You know your parents are worried that you're getting distracted with girls when you should be focusing on running. It's true. Eventually, they go to the headmaster of the school and your coach, telling them you need to focus. Coach says absolutely no girlfriends or distractions. That night, your parents tell you that you can't keep talking to me, that it's bad for your focus. They sit there and watch as you are forced to call me and tell me you can't have a girlfriend.
You become depressed. I become depressed. But we hold it all inside. People expect us to be perfect at everything. They don't even know. After faking my way through school and ballet, I go home and cry in my bathroom for hours to the point where I choke on my own sobs. I stop eating and sleeping. I can't breathe normally. I can't function without you. You are a part of me and always will be. Your parents can't stop that.
You have the state championships for cross country next week. I have big auditions and performances. Everyone expects us to win. Everyone expects us to be perfect. They tell us to forget about each other so we can focus. But they don't know...
Oh Robby...how can we win if we can't even breathe?
Robby • Opuss № I