OLYMPICS
ITS THE OLYMPIC SEASON!.
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em99sh
I am really random, athletic, and I luv to write! I write jokes and advice, and qoutes! I luv u all!
55
Stories
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Followers
Stories by @em99sh (55)
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I can't believe it's summer already the year went by so fast. Don't u think?.
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Convo
A convo between 2 brothers.... Big Brother: Did you know that Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus are engaged. Little Brother: Who's Liam Hemsworth. Big Brother: He play Gale in The Hunger Games.
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Like this Opuss if u like the song "Somebody That I Used To Know".
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Only 3 Doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city.
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Speeding
A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding. Officer: May i see your licence. Lady: what does it look like.
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I just found out who broke Adele's heart. I feel bad for her!.
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There is no chocolate in my house. I might die!.
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A convo between father and son... DAD: "Ok, so after every question i ask you you must say ketchup and rubber buns". Son: Gotcha. DAD: what did you buy at the store. Son: Ketchup and rubber buns.
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Blonde Joke
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend. The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ...
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THANK U FOR BELIEVING IN MY WEIRDNESS!. -Katy Perry (Part Of Me: The movie).
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My Texting Language WTF?. = What The Fudge?. OMGG. = Oh My Good God. LLLY= Live Laugh Love Yourself.
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A little boy asks his dad "How much does it cost to get married?" Dad says "I dont know im still paying!".
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Uniqueness is the key To success and oppurtunity. I cant stand being perfect so i went back to being me..
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People keep saying that the right man will find me Mine must have gotten bad directions from mapquest!.
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Thanks to all those men and women in uniforms. Especially the ones in camouflage. They got left out, cuz they are hard to see. -Ellen Degeneres.
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Wow. About a month ago i had only 13 followers. Now i have 60. Thanks!.
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Love life. Love your self. Love the people who love you. Love your true love!.
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Pet
My rabbit died yesterday. Now he's just some bunny that i used to know!.
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3 Steps
1- go to GOOGLE 2-Type in WHERE IS CHUCK NORRIS 3- click on 1ST OPTION.
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URGENT NEWS
THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT IS FOLLOWING ME!. I APPRECIATE THE EFFORT. LIVE LAUGH LUV!.
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Everyone follow @crowncottage. She is really nice!.
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That awesome moment when u burp louder than a boy!.
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Poem
ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE DEAR ONE DIRECTION, IT'S GOTTA BE YOU!.
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How?
Boy- How was I made. Mum- Well, sweetheart Our whole universe was in a hot dense state, Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
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That moment when u find a scar and u have no clue where it came from!.
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Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives and make us want to leave footprints on their faces..
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I find it funny when Disney channel shows r about families and teens and 12 year olds and they never swear and in real life we swear at least once or twice a day!.
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TBBT THEME SONG
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state, Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
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Just think I joined the opuss community 23 days ago. I have 38 followers. This is my 51 opuss. PLZ tell ppl to follow me. Like they say The More The Merrier. So PLZ follow!.
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If u read this u should follow me.
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I feel like the loser in my class(6th grade). Everybody likes someone and r not afraid to show it except for me I like this boy since 5K and I really hope he isn't reading this.
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*knock, knock* Penny *knock, knock* Penny *knock, knock* Penny -Sheldon Cooper.
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LOL
Most people can't stand having their volume settings on a odd number so they keep it on an even number.
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Just reached 21 followers!.
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Life Don't Fail Me Now (All)
It was 8:oo pm as anne's father came in and said they were going out for a surprise.
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I...
I am happy I am sad I am grateful I am hateful I love you I hate you I love I hate I kiss I punch Love is bitter sweet.
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Hands are silent. Voice is numb. Silent moment. Thinking alone..
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That awkward moment when u know u r smarter then someone but on a test u get a problem wrong and that person gets it right and says "Ooh. U got that one wrong!" and ur like O shut up!.
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Today
Today was like any other day. School was boring and dull. Mackenzie (annoying loser) acts self-seeking and will not have a boyfriend for any time soon!.
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Student Council
Should I run for student council. If I do I would go against two "Popular" girls. One was once my BFF. Please tell me if i Should try and go for it?.
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AWKWARD!
That awkward moment when u r talking to a friend about something personal and someone walks behind/infront of u trying to hear the conversation!.
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The Truth
I once heard someone say that "one lie leads to another and another and more!" So keep staying true to your self and don't be afraid or ashamed of who u truly r.
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When.......
When will I stop living a lie. I try to get my crush to like me, but it won't work. I have to except that I am who I am know matter how big or small, or how pretty or ugly I am, or how my attitude is.
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Come on!. I made an opuss called "Life don't Fail me Know (Part 1)". Do PLZ read.
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Never stop eating or start cutting your self, u will most likely end up in rehab. For instance, Demi Lovato and she started cutting her self because she wasn't thin enough.
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Epic Fail!
Wow its sad how many times people said that the world would end and we r still here. Epic Fail on some people's part. True!.
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Don't Worry!
Don't worry if your hearts been broken u will eventually find your love out of 6,840,507,003 people u will find the one u r meant to be with!.
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The flower never grew But I love you just the same Even though like a bird you flew I will love you just the same.
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Love can NEVER be hidden!.
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One day, a girl met a boy. They decided to go to the fields to spend some time together.
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Never...
Never let the fear of striking out keep u from playing the game!.
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Life
When life knocks you down you get back up and fight even harder..
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That Moment
That awkward moment when your crush updates "nobody likes me :(" on his/her page and your like "I volunteer. I volunteer has tribute!".
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Dumb Blonde Jokes
What does a dumb blonde do if there's a sign in a laundry place that says "please remove clothes". She takes off ALL of her clothes. What does a dumb blonde do if u tell her there is a computer virus.
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