Bored
Follow me and il follow you I'm so bored of school on sic day. :0.
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15 words
euan
Hi I'm Euan. I'm 13. I like art and sport. Follow me if you want cool jokes. :)
40
Stories
85
Followers
Stories by @euan (40)
On A Roof
Two aerials met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant..
26
4
21 words
Too Hot
A policeman stopped me the other night, he tapped on the window and said "Would you please blow into this bag sir". I said "What for officer?" He said "My chips are too hot"..
10
0
34 words
Dream
I went to doctors. He said "What appears to be the problem". I said, "I keep having the same dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away".
14
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45 words
Wind
I went to the doctors today and asked "do you have anything for wind". He gave me a kite..
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19 words
Brakes
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder..
16
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11 words
Quiet As A Mouse
Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one..
16
3
13 words
Corners
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, " you'll be sorry." He said," oh' yeah.
12
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49 words
Homework
I lick homework. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours..
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14 words
Psychiatrist
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too..
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21 words
Marriage
A little boy asked his father," daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"father replied," I don't know son, I'm still paying.".
12
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23 words
News
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', then tell you why it isn't..
4
5
15 words
Children
You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up..
12
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30 words
Speech
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak..
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17 words
Die
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car..
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2
21 words
Conjunctivitis
Conjunctivitis.com that's a site for sore eyes..
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7 words
Holiday
I've just been on a once in a lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.
18
7
16 words
1£ TV
I saw this advert in a window that said: Television for sale, 1£, volume stuck on full. I thought, I can't turn that down..
24
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24 words
Darts
My friend asked me why I put superglue on one of his darts. I said you just can't let it go can you..
18
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23 words
Crime
Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many levels..
16
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12 words
Velcro
Velcro. What a rip-of.
16
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4 words
Dark
Why does it take so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who stays out all night..
26
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25 words
Teenagers Are Like Cats
1.Neither teenagers or cats turn their heads when you call them by name. 2. No cat or teenager shares your taste in music. 3. Teenagers and cats can lie on the sofa for hours on end, barely...
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12
59 words
Winners
Losers let things happen. Winners make things happen..
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8 words
BP
Where do bees go to the toilet. The BP station..
12
1
10 words
Loving What You Do
If you love what you do, you'll never have to work again..
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2
12 words
Chose
You can chose your friends. But you can't chose your family..
6
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11 words
Do I do I not
I know more than I think I know. Just as I know less than I want to know..
10
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18 words
Friends
Keep your friends close But your enemies even close. But not literally. That's a bit weird..
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16 words
Follower
I was whacking back from school and I swear I was getting followed. so I was as sneaky as a fox as quiet as a mouse trying to get a way. Then as fait predicted.
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68 words
(((KNUCKLE TOUCH)))
The coolest boy at school was going to punch me and he hit my knuckles. before he could take a nuder shot I shouted (((knuckle touch!))) the coolest boy at school gave me a knuckle touch.
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46 words
Flavoured Water
Felling lick a rebel when you take flavoured water in to class..
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12 words
Spare Key
I was in Africa and I rented a home. I was told the spare key was under the plant pot. When I got there I could here a noise under the plant pot. I picked it up and there was a small mon[key]..
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43 words
Mat Cat
Crunch He's a mat cat A bed cat A sleepy cat A pillow cat He's a hunger cat But he is my cat My own cat My favourite cat The end.
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31 words
At The End Of The Day
It gets dark.
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3 words
S(HE'S) BR(OK)EN
4 words The Name Said All.
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6 words
1/2 or 1/100
Half of Something is Better than all of nothing.
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9 words
Citrus Melon
Anyone who says citrus fruit are the only fruits that makes your face scrunch up. They haven't fell heat first onto a water melon. ((( DO NO'T TRAY AT HOME )))..
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31 words
Toast
I get out of bed on Monday not cos of school but the smell of toast..
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16 words
Friends Ar Family
Friends are the family we choose to have..
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8 words