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it is ok to pretend to be irish in st. pateick's day. we all pretend to be good in christmas, don't we?.
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ewieanggoro
clever as devil and twice as pretty
69
Stories
9
Followers
Stories by @ewieanggoro (69)
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"Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn't help if you're ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up".
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"the reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public".
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“May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch”.
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"if anger is mileage, i'd be a very frequent flyer, right up there in first class".
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i am not flirting. i am just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
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"to get away with murder, you simply don't tell anyone.".
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"Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.".
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"Evil is always unspectacular and always human. And shares our bed...and eats at our table.".
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luxury is when you get the guilty pleasure from eating your childhood food.
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"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.".
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"The question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I, or the others crazy?".
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"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.".
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a friend is just an enemy who hasn't attacked yet.
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in 1872, the arabs invented the condoms, using goat's lower intestine. in 1873, the british somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.
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if caterpillar can sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why can't i.
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love is when you make sandwich for your better half, no matter what time it is.
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Confessions may be good for the soul, but they're a hot lead enema to a relationship..
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i dont't regret burning bridges. i regret that some people weren't on those bridges when i burnt them.
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"behind every successful person, lies a pack of haters".
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"some people should start opening their small minds instead of their big mouths".
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"i have as much authority as the pope, i just don't have as many people who believe it".
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never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
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"A lot of beautiful people are stupid. There’s a tremendous amount of idiots who look so good. It’s frightening.".
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@TheTweetOfGod: In the beginning I said "Let there be light." Then I said "Let there be camera." Then I said "Let there be action!" Then I ran overbudget..
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"Superman is, after all, an alien life form. He is simply the acceptable face of invading realities.” Author Clive Barker..
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“Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed.”.
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If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear. Winnie The Pooh quotes.
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“It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens.
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"good mums let you lick the beaters. great mums turn them off first".
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"i only sing in the shower. i would join a choir, but i don't think my bathtub can hold that many people" jarod kintz.
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"i am just one step away from being rich. what i need now is just money. lots of money".
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"i don't swim. i don't drive. well, once i thought about learning how to drive, but then what happened if i crash into a lake?".
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it takes two to lie. one to tell, and another one to listen.
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@thequeensaid: just because you don't remember, doesn't mean it didn't happen.
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"a walk in the woods always helps me relax and release tension. the fact that i am dragging a body is entirely irrelevant".
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it bothers me when bad things happen to good people. but it bothers me more when good things happen to bad people.
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When you judge someone else, It doesn't define who they are, It defines who you are. ~ Unknown.
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life is full of fake people. before you judge them, make sure you are not one of them.
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People who talk shit to you, usually talk shit about you..
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What goes around comes around. That's what people say. So all the pain you caused me will come back to you someday..
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People say to forgive & forget, but we all know we'll never forget, & deep down we can’t forgive....
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Damn, there comes a time when you are just not that important. Good luck being lonely. Have you ever heard of pay it forward. Karma & Kindness. Unknown quotes.
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be aware whom you shared your weakness with. some people just can't wait for the opportunity to use them against you.
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i heard god is everywhere but my house. at first i thought she doesnt like us, but then i realised we have more than one bathroom!.
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"there is no a thin line between love and hate. there is, in fact, a great wall of china with armed sentries posted every twenty feet betwen love and hate".
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"a red rose is not selfish because it wants to be a red rose. it would be horribly selfish if it wanted all the other flowers in the garden to be both red and roses".
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luxury is knowing that true friends come forward, and you do not have to buy them.
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i only drink one glass of vodka a day to keep me warm. wait.... did i mention how big the glass is?.
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home is where you can find mid-nite snack, what to get and which drawer it is kept.
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do you know that your handwriting can reveal your character, potential, working ethic and more. handwriting analysis-what is it.
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luxury level over 9000 is when you can hit the snooze button and hide under your blanket.
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mum is an alien who pretends to be human pretending to be alien axelle - 6 years old.
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no matter how big your laundry basket is, you would find some clothes dumped on the floor, next to it.
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kids: mum, we make shelters mum: ok. is there any water, electricity, and public facilities. kids: nope. but we have wifi... hmm..kids' priority in emergency area...thumbs up!!!.
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i heard that god never sleeps... neither does devil...and i am not sure which one i am.
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bastards
there are two types of friends: friends who are not there when you need them, and friends who don't want to be there whether or not you need them and i call them bastards....
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i heard that drinking half a bottle vodka in one day could kill you. i call it fairy tale.
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got nothing for lunch tho my tummy was hungry and growl like a bear.
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i'd rather be young than old i'd rather be warm than cold i'd rathet be short than long i'd rahter be dancing than writing a song i'd rather be small than big i'd be bald than wearing a wig.
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“If you're really a mean person you're going to come back as a fly and eat poop.” ― Kurt Cobain.
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champagne time!!. for passing the theory driving test..
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when i am sad, i stop being sad and start being awesome instead. true story. barney stinson.
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if you want to be smartarse, first you have to be smart. otherwise you are just an arse.
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some people need a high five. on the face. with a chair..
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“I don't hate people. I just feel better when they aren't around.” ― Charles Bukowski.
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homemade peppermint ginger vodka
what you need: ginger chillies mint leaves peppermint essence sugar water VODKA!!!!. mix everything but the vodka and bring them to boil. you can add any of those stuff as you like.
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don't let the bastard get you down. more important, don't be the bastard who gets others down.
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so, jesus was like a clown who went everywhere and said ,i'd help you.
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