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Showing stories tagged with #absurdist-humor Clear filter

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The Adventures Of Sir Gerald Of Winthorpe And His Adventure At Midnight Through A Marsh In Colchester

( #sundayrepost - Because I love factual based history.

18 6 399 words
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Sir Walter Raleigh And Things

Condiments come in very handy if ever you need to season food. If you don't need to season food then condiments are not very handy at all.

14 3 1001 words
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Cauliflower Ears

Overlong hedgehogs terrorised the quaint shanty towns of the North East of England.

8 3 561 words
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Colin Firth Stole My Handbag

When I was but a lad of seven I used to sell handbags down market. Sorry, that should be 'I used to sell downmarket handbags'. I am not from Yorkshire I do not know what came over me.

26 2 382 words
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Colin, Gary, Frank, Potatoes, Turnips, Onions, Carrots And Trees

Back in the days of Mars bars and Snickers lived a boy named Frank. His mother gave him his name when he was born although her husband wanted to call him Bruno.

12 2 452 words
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News To Me Seven - Colonel Gaddafi's Revenge

The news from yesterday reported in the style of walruses with selective amnesia.

18 3 410 words
peace123
peace123

Things That Make You Laugh

If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter. Is it OK to use the a.m. radio after noon. What do you call a male ladybug.

8 0 741 words
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A Trip Down Memory Spain

Cajun unicorns are rarely seen in public and for good reason. Cajun unicorns are despised by the people of southern New Mexico but not by those from north New Mexico.

14 4 329 words
Mysticallpixie03
Mysticallpixie03

Catch A Rabbit

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test.

10 1 151 words
BVHarding
BVHarding

The Misadventures Of Jack

#fillintheblank challenge There once was man named Jack. Jack really loved to ____. One not so average day, however, Jack had a nasty run in with a/an ____.

24 7 86 words
dfribbo
dfribbo

Tales Of Turdus

Chapter 1 A Brief Shistory Our story is of a wee lad named Turdus who overcame obstacles and whose bravery engraved his name into history books forever.

2 0 572 words
VampireRipper
VampireRipper

Whaaaaaaaat??

I've gone down the ranks. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!. HOW COULD THIS beeeee?. Well I wasn't posting for a while so I guess that may be it.

0 0 168 words
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Now: That's What I Call An Anthology: Powered By Batteries.

Some more of my personal favourites for your viewing displeasure, all in one place.

22 6 1639 words
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Tales Of Herstory Past

Sir Ronald of Chesterton was an important figure in the history of the United Kingdom.

14 3 280 words
Bwanadik
Bwanadik

Job Interview

During my last job interview I was asked: "What would you consider to be your main weaknesses and strengths.

20 1 42 words
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Of Onions And Men

Someone yesterday said they were suffering from writers block and asked for ideas. I gave that person an idea and they did not use it, so I have. Moral of the story, you snooze and you loose.

8 0 406 words
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Now: That's What I Call An Anthology: 124939

Some of my favourites. Enjoy!. ______________ Parrots of Sierra Leone "Nuts for sale, nuts for sale.... Who will buy my nuts for sale". Said the old woman sat in her box of cardboard.

20 3 1324 words
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Andrews Quest Of A Question He Had That He Needed An Answer To.

Aubergine, the heralded scholar from the isles of Iran was perplexed at the size of his feet. Auvergne was an average sized Canary but his feet were at least twice the length of its wingspan.

26 5 341 words
saharin3
saharin3

BLEACH CONTENT

Aizen's tea party After a tea party between Aizen, Tousen, Gin and the Espadas, they returned to their apartments, penthouses on the roof of Las Noches.

2 0 361 words
allyg
allyg

to do list

1. make vanilla pudding. put in mayo jar. eat in public. 2. hire two private investigators. het them to follow each orher. 3. wear shirt that says life. hand out lemmons on a street corner. 4.

8 0 131 words
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You Wouldn't Elf'n Believe It

The world today is waking up to news that Christopher Kringle, the inventor of Christmas has disappeared.

46 4 439 words
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Parsnips (A Song About Them)

Parsnips for dinner Parsnips for lunch Parsnips for breakfast Parsnips for brunch Parsnips for Easter And parsnips for lent Parsnips for Christmas And parsnips again Parsnips for president And...

42 17 113 words
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Banana Mamma And Clutching At Straws

I tried to catch a plane today. I failed miserably. Those things are quite massive and heavy as feck. To celebrate this, yesterday, I decided to go to a fiesta.

6 0 324 words
phillipmitchell
phillipmitchell

The Goose

I entered my home’s kitchen; I was going to drink some juice. What I didn’t expect that afternoon Was to be attacked by a massive goose. The goose had come through the cat flap Intent on causing harm.

4 0 154 words
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