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Dear advice giver, I have a girlfriend ten years younger than me, and everyone says we should break up. What should I do. -Daniel Dear Daniel, If you love her, don't give her up. It's that simple.
Suggestive humor ;) The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.
First one out this morning And it's snow and ice I see Thought I'd warn the missus Via modern technology I had to send a message For I feared what might come next Turned to dear old Siri For a safe...
#fillintheblanks One sunny day Jack decided to have a shit.
Ok I have to admit The urban legends true No longer are they fallacies I just don't understand you Your humour does dumbfound me Just as mine does to you too.
I've got a bit of a problem, Nope not a murderous one. More like.... I need a map and compass Just to find my way home from school.
A little boys homework was to learn the first three letters of the alphabet.
A blonde goes into a Best Buy. She asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
Harry's day out.
I'm a big stand-up fan, and a couple of my favourite stand-up comedians have written funny material about tattoos [Dave Gorman's Googlewhack adventure and Rhod Gilbert: The man with the flaming...
History would tell you that the Norman Conquest was an event or a number of them that took place in the year 1066 in England, which by coincidence was the same year as the Battle of Hastings.
#glensbored. I've decided to build an extension, I'm going to build it myself. I want to prove my family wrong, after I failed to put up a shelf.
New characters: Opposing staff 1 & 2 Opposing Boss Manager: (shocked) Nnnnn...nnnnoooo... Nooooooo!!. Staff: What. O. Staff: We're here to take over. Punk. (Manager faints) Meanwhile...
One day, maybe it was Tuesday or Friday...whatever Jimmothy was a moose and didn't really give a shit...the moose named Jimmothy went to market.
Characters: Shopkeeper Manager Customers 1-5 Scene 1 Shopkeeper: £8, please. Customer 1: £8!. Are you crazy. That shop across the street sells it for £6.
#opussweeklychallenge. When Glen met Eddie on their blind date. I'll tell you the story it wasn't so great. 'Hi you must be Eddie and I say your looking ace'.
I wanted a pet Cute and easy to keep. So a bought a hamster So little and cheap. “An ideal pet Sir” The shopkeeper said: 32 hours and the hamster was dead.
In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth -- if you lie, you disappear.
Today really isn't going well We've entered the realm of 'what the hell' Nobody actually seems to know How to get the thing to go.
I'm going out on the pull tonight, I've got on my flower shirt. I've slicked my hair to the side, now it's time to flirt. I've got brown chords with braces, and a chunky silver chain.
#bored. So I once went out on this date. With this girl and one of her mate's. I was on to a winner. But first we had dinner. This night was going to be great. Now Ann and Pam were there names.
A talking Frog told Lalu, "Lalu, you don't have any brain." Lalu said, "I have one." Frog repeated, "No you don't." Excited Lalu yelled, "Yes, I do." Angry, the frog screamed, "No, you...
Hello. Hello. I'm calling today to complain about the sandwich I bought at your Tea Time Sandwiches shop on London. Hello, how can I help you today. I've just told you. Hello, how can I help you...
Diddly diddly dee dee doo, Lah lah laaaaah, doo be doooooo... (Hold music) Operator: Hello, my name is Penny - How Can I Help You Today.