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A couple of swear words. Hi my name is kitty, I'm writing a little ditty, A day in the life, Of my troubles and strife, I'm sorry if you find this a bit shitty.
I think I'm in love With a guy called Jeff For like my little self With farts he's truly blessed I met him in a club Called Club Trumpocana Our duetting farts Caused a dance floor drama That's when...
I'm the real Batman not that wimpy Bruce Wayne. I dont fight baddies such as the Riddler, Joker or Bane. I just sleep in my batcave hanging upside down.
Bloody silly Mayans And their apocalypse They must have all been smoking Substances that give you trips I took it all on board Built a bunker underground To keep me safe from Earth's...
Cause snorting's so attractive, A sneeze a minute, too, Talking through my chattering teeth, That's so hot, who knew.
#AdventChallenge #Holly #Personification No one seems to like me, Because I 'prickle skin', But let me tell you something, Who's there through thick and thin.
My name is Etta Two Scoops. And I like to tell a tale. If you've had a fish for a pet. Then I've had a whale. If you've broke your leg. Then I've had mine removed. I'll tell you every last detail.
We're the British floor people, That's a thought for you to chew, We will nip at every ankle, While the crowd is passing through.
Ladies and gentlemen, chicks and dudes birds and studs, listen up, I have some big news, so put down your food, you may want to sit, no I did not say spit, and please retain your fits, and for god...
I had an incident with floss, It still fills me with fear, Yes, on that cold and stormy night, The memory's crystal clear, For, I had just brushed my teeth, Colgate, max white fresh, When all at...
#household. Here is the tale of Bart Cootie. Whose arse was incredibly fruity. After eating a pear. He caught folk unaware. He'd laugh and say 'That was a beauty!'. One day a tomato went down.
(Woody's my dog) Woody's got the hiccups, It's driving him insane. It started just this morning, It's something quite profane.
#household My curry last night was yummy In fact it was totally scrummy But I had too much Biriyani and such And now I've a rumbly tummy The noise coming from my pants Is like a herd of...
To be sung to the iconic Morecambe & Wise tune 'Bring Me Sunshine' Bring me Valium When I frown And a gin to Wash it down With a pill and a gin Life can be good to be in So the days pass you...
Princess Titanium and her trusty tits Had been on a fighting crusade Kicking ass across the universe Her love of doing this would never fade On a distant galactic star she did meet Her nemesis, the...
The Mullet, hmmmm, what can I say. This hairstyle is sooo wrong. The front is short, the sides are mid, But then - the back is long!!. The chuckle brothers sported mullets, Once upon a time.
#cheesebattle The time has come, The King shall speak, This Climax has come, To its peak, BedHairyLee at my command, Together, we will claim this land, You made my cat, Into a hat, You stole my...
#cheesebattle Dear Daring D and Nic Best wake up pretty quick There is bedhair Bloody everywhere We haven't missed a trick Good morning and god bless Haha.
#cheesebattle I've come knocking at your door Again with something else in store; I've rallied the three Herman Juniors Come to squish this lair of yours.
#cheesebattle Don't need super weapons Don't really need some cheese I got plenty stuff To bring 'em to their knees I'm BedHairyLee Good Evening. Time for sleaze Dynamic Duo. Hero Pants.
#cheesebattle Lurking in the darkness, Breeding cows for cheese, My newest sidekick on a chair, Combing his hair with.... bees.
I'm having a moment. I think this is it. I'm writing this poem. While taking a shit. It just seems to me. While I'm sat on the bog. The greatest thoughts ever. Seep through the fog.
I Opuss in the morning, I Opuss in the day, I Opuss in the night time when sleep won't come my way I Opuss in my free time, even when I should be packing If I don't get to Opuss feels like...
#household Lady Grey did sigh, All the teas were named after guys.