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Joke from a book on Jon something or other's writing inspiration A man with no arms wanted to ring the church bells. "You can't ring a bell. You have no arms!" The priest exclaimed.
16+ some (very little) content may be unsuitable This just isn't making sense any more, on this dating site People say they're nice and then go and pick a fight Pretty twenty-two year old,...
#acrostic How’s my outlook for today, On this gruesome, hopeless day. Readings say today... Oh brother. Reality really is a mother.
Christianity teaches that God (an invisible man who lives in the sky) sentenced his only son to horrendous torture and then an agonising death just because a talking snake persuaded a woman to eat an...
One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other.
You have a headache you say. Don't worry I deal with this every day. Don't take to bed Take this medicine instead. Not enough. Oh dear, here's more stuff. Take with meals mind (Causes ulcers we find).
My sisters daughter has to write a poem called 'teachers stew' for school, so I said I'd help, this is our joint poem.
A Frenchman, an American and a Irish man where condemned to die The three man where allowed to chose there method of death The Frenchman was first to be put to go, the jailer asked him how he wanted...
I'm hungry, so hungry Those thoughts fill my head All I can write of is Eating till I'm dead So lets start simple Like mashed potatoes Then have some gravy And meat stuffed tomatoes Then add some...
Write a short story based on your favourite song, using the song’s title as your story’s title and the lyrics for your plot. Ben stood there waiting. Just like he did every day. Waiting.
I'm building a submarine in my garden, I'm having so much fun. I'm not going to paint it yellow, as I think that, that's been done. I'm using raw materials, for the shell I've used my bath.
The missus likes to make a name. From her registration plate. Last one up was Diddikoi. You've been told of that ones fate. They've been varied, often strange. Sometimes easy, like FooFoo.
King Assad is offering another all inclusive holiday in Syria. All you have to do is sort his balls out for him. He wants to know which is the odd one out. His decision is final.
Can you spot the 2 deliberate mistakes . The winner will get a 1 week beach holiday for 2 in Syria:- Accommodation is paid for you just have to buy your own flights.
#sortofmakessensewithlasttwoposts 'You ready for breakfast Korea?'' 'Yes mum' 'Same as usual?'' 'Yeah, egg on bombs' 'Please?' 'Egg on bombs....please' 'How do you want your egg?' 'Runny' 'How...
#opussweeklychallenge A pretty young maiden named Betty, (Who's pastimes were dreadfully petty), Liked to rip people's books, What she wanted, she took, Like eating other peoples spaghetti.
This is today's tomorrows yesterday's news today. Sponsored by bleach and reasonably priced life insurance for the over fifties.
A bit of today's and yesterday's news mixed with yesterday's news. Wonder if anyone is annoyed yet?. bbc.co.uk reports "Chernobyl hit by roof collapse". - It's hardly a priority is it.
#opussweeklychallenge Tomorrow’s V-Day, what a treat. Here’s a poem, something sweet: Love and pain strike the chest. Baby, this day, it’s the best.
One upon a time in the land of Bob lived a man named Gary who had a massive dog. His dogs name was Paul, named for the Pope. Paul cost nothing, he was found tied by rope.
#fillintheblanks Jack Sprat could eat a horse, he was so hungry.
"I have pondered life," said a cricket to a frog, "and reached a rather unusual conclusion." The frog, bemused by his talking dinner, merely blinked for a moment before the cricket continued.
OK, before anyone reads this I'd just like to say that I think a sense of humour is the most important thing in the world and I'm sure you ALL agree, yeah.
#fillintheblanks One sunny day Jack decided to walk up the hill with Jill to fetch a pail of water.