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Cookies up to the ceiling,. Cakes coming out of my ears,. But that sweet gingerbread house,. Lurks at the edge of my fears,. Always pudding on offer,. And home-made cheesecake,.
Wow.... I guess this is my 200th Opuss. I would just like to thank all the Opussians who have helped me get this far, especially my 88 wonderful followers.
I went to the barber. He cut off my hair, which would have been great, but he didn't stop there. He slipped with his scissors. He snipped with his shears, and cut off my eyebrows and both of my ears.
So a boy is born with a one of a kind medical condition - he only had a head.
I know these jokes are old but I found them funny.
Once upon a time, there was a cat who died. When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth.
Nobody likes me.
#cheesebattle Really Lee. A BMX. We all know that's lies. I just spied him in your cheesy lair Being force-fed mince pies.
#household For @shazydee @chy I'm the knickerninja Of that you can be sure I will root out secrets In your underwear drawer Ah, a peachy camisole Pretty and so lacy Underneath, some...
#cheesebattle This cheesy war has run its course Now it's time to use some force I've told you all once, twice, thrice You all know me, I don't play nice Winning fair would be a pleasure But drastic...
(what I hear every time I watch come dine with me!) Come dine with me, In this delightful feast, I shall make what I think will score me the most points.
Poor little deluded Jack, You think grannies are a good attack.
#cheesebattle Well, well Nicola, I know your last name, I'm waiting, now, outside your Den, You're gonna lose this game, Well, well, Nicola, Your dragon makes a racket, He'll go great with my cat...
#cheesebattle I think you need to take a seat, This poem, you're about to meet, It shows the true wrath of King Cheese, To make you shaky at the knees, Now, let us see my first surprise, Unveil...
Hair bombs. Ha. Think I don't know how to deal With a simple hair ball meal. My vetty powers seek out those devils, You can't win on any of your levels.
#cheesebattle You think you've trumped us But it's far from that; BedHairLee is calling time And we've made a hat from your cat.
Ole Weirdwolf killed a leprechaun and now he is in trouble, For the POLAce are going to get him, In their cauldron a spell bubbles. They add frogspawn and jelly, And a pube of R. Kelly's.
"Dear sir, I come to you To ask you the greatest of favours.
So you're looking for a sidekick But there's nobody about And without a list of applicants You've given me a shout I'll introduce myself In just a little while In the meantime, why don't you check...
Be warned...It's not pleasant..xxx The neighbours, at last, have stopped shagging, How the hell did they both survive that. He's about 80 with very short legs and she is as blind as a bat...
Hi ho hi ho. It's off to work we go. With a bucket and spade and an hand grenade. Hi ho. Hi ho hi ho hi ho. Hi ho hi ho. It's off to work we go. With a shovel and pick and a donkeys dick. Hi ho.
My chair lives On a diet of time He tempts you into His arms, coloured lime He has many methods Of catching his prey All of them deadly, And devious, I'll say His habitat is A dark corner in my...
Yesterday I spoke with the most famous villain hunter in all of Opussia - Major Magpie. Although well past his prime, he still effortlessly delivers his signature humiliation move - the super wedgie.
He knocks on your door. Expecting some money. This little bald bloke. Is not even that funny. He stands there all day. Waiting for cash. Then he gets nasty. And treats you like trash.