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(Best read in voice over man voice like a TV advert. Please, this is tongue in cheek. Laugh at yourself if you recognise anything) Suffering from writers block. Ran out of things to say.
I think you all know Bob He must seem like an old friend But if you knew him like I do You'd be at your wits end Imagine, if you will The deepest baritone Now imagine what it sounds like When he...
I like sandwiches. Do you like sandwiches. I think I must have eaten like 20 sandwiches this past week... I love paaaasta, Don't you just love paaaasta. You just gotta love paaaasta.
@sjw Don't think you can threaten me with Bob I deal with him every day in my job.
@leelee101. He thinks it's funny to terrorise. But is it right to scare me so. Tears of laughter in his eyes. Didn't think he'd stoop so low. Now I'm not one to demonise. But you know from spiders.
In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth -- if you lie, you disappear.
#HalloweenParty Sorry, it's not really halloweeny... Insy winsy TARANTULA. Snuck up whilst doing my algebra. Climbed up the water drain, Paralysed my brain.
We have all heard of birthing stories, some love to hear them, others hate it but they are a part of life. Even the men reading this will be thinking 'oh god, not another labour story, I'm off!'.
Today is going to be my lazy day. I'll just eat mochi and watch anime. I really won't do much, like leave the house and such. I think I'll just stay home.
this os rubbish but oh well A blonde, brunette and a redhead are in a cooking show. The cook says to the redhead roll the Pasterie. She does so. The brunette is told to stir the mixture. She obeys.
I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know. Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog.
So I've been asked to do a calendar nude Tastefull I think or do they want rude.
You make me feel like everything will be okay. That you are here for me whatever time of the day. The feeling is mutual. My fun loving friend. Even if you do drive me round the bend.
I invented by the devil. R ight up there with cats. O nly sado masochists. enjoy it. N othing else I can say. about that. I hate it with a passion. N othing makes it sweet,.
This post is not unlucky and to prove it i put my umbrela up indors and then steoed on all the cracks in the pavement the only bad thing that hapened was a segull nearly died. Good luck it didnt.
Ok it's a little early. But never mind. Only two entries, from Pat and Eddie...Pat and Eddie...sounds like a Victoria Wood sitcom... I digress. Who to choose.
So cheesy on Eastenders.
Sienna has asked me to let you all know that she is on holiday for a few days and can't get wifi or a good signal so she's struggling to like and comment,so Don't think she's being...
This actually happened.... Lesson one: maths Chloe: One direction are amazing Me: ughhhh Chloe: what. Me: one direction are awful. I love muse. Chloe: muse just scream. Me: no they don't. Miss.
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
I know right. (fennie) I am a secrate potato ninga (fennie) I am a dancing potato (shnia) Im stupid (shnia) I never learn do i.
There is a game called FarmVille, It's based upon Facebook. My girlfriend likes to plant things, Without the rain or muck. As well as fruit and vedgies, Addictions grow each day.
My god I hope I don't puke I've drunk too much vodka absolut It was nice going down Hope I don't chuck on my dressing gown It's not classy and not chic I'm a lightweight..I'm so weak Now I need...
An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.