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Something unusual happened to me today. I was chatting to this bloke and he went full cray. Calling me names for no particular reason. If this were olden times he'd be hung for treason.
The mice was alone & a lot of mouses were enough.
An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
I'm sat at the kitchen table, vigourously whisking some lumpy chocolate. A few minutes later, the mixture is velvety smooth, and I simply cannot wait to try some of it.
Um... I was bored. Brain: What on earth are you doing?. Me: Um... Eating a cookie. Brain: WHAT?!. Why?. Me: Because I needed a cookie. Brain: ARGH!!. Why?. Me: Because I was feeling upset.
My dad frequently repeats this joke us, most of the time unintentionally, but I always laugh at the end.
This is a joke that my friend told me earlier today. I warn you, it contains a few swears. Johnny and his dad were walking home from his school when they saw two women arguing in the street.
Thanks Mr Alex. The new word is....... Forest Come on guys get creative!!. Ends Thursday 11th at 6pm!. Good luck.
My new designer jacket - ruined. My body covered in blotches and my so called romantic weekend was ruined with three kids. So what was I saying about BLISS. The afternoon was perfect.
A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder.
Following is a short story written and published in an Anthology in 2009. It is entitled 'Running' and to be honest; isn't that good.
Ugh. I spent the whole morning in the shower, scrubbing off the lake water. It was quite amusing when all the suds turned green and oozed under the shower. Someone must of thought I was toxic.
#bored. I've been living amongst you earthlings, since I landed here last year. I've managed to fit right in since I discovered this thing called beer.
1. My name is Emmy. 2. I am 12, 13 in May. 3. I am hoping to go to university. I'd like to be either a: author, detective, phycologist or English teacher. 4. I love writing and reading. 5.
"You hate me don't you?" I'm sitting at the cafe dinner table opposite Josh. In-between a massive chocolate sundae. Holly took Rosie and Luke for a shower so I'm alone, feeling guilty.
I can't believe it when I open my eyes. Through the windscreen I see three kids. Worse, Holly's sister's kids. I open the truck door and walk over to Holly.
I shove my bags in the back of my burgundy pick-up truck and slip into the front seat.
@LittleKitten Challenge I am iPikachu, known as Kobe. I am not a male, female, nor a shemale. I'm a Pikachu for pokemon's sake. I have 3 brothers, 1 mom & dad, and 45 cousins in total.
Three blue men Bald blue men See how they drum Hear how they thrum They're making percussion on plastic pipes A fantastic explosion of sound and light Mostly in colour some black and white These...
1) Sexier people. 2) Less-of-a-dick people. 3) Ass. Ass ass ass. 4) More ass. 5) Being able to write more. 6) Stop complaining about being able to not write. 7) More money would be nice.
This is for @LittleKitten's amazing idea. •I love The Beatles. Seriously, if you have never heard of them (Although everyone has cos they're the greatest band ever); then you should look them up.
They call me gaz the man who knows all I know the facts however big or small Never talk to the old lady down the road as she's a moaner It's illegal to own a framed picture of Ian Beale in Arizona.
#bored. I'm the best at air guitar, Ive managed to learn every chord. I often get it out, when I'm feeling quite bored. I can play any song and my guitar don't make a sound.
When I was a lad we didn't have stairs. Nope, none at all. Your generation have got it easy.