No! It's...
Those first two guys who thought Superman was a bird or a plane... Why were they so excited?.
12
4
18 words
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What I Want To Do/say
Idiot: Lol I just told suzy who you like. What i wanna say: Omg. Thats so halarious, i just posted a picture of you dancing i ur underwear on facebook. Arent we funny?.
8
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33 words
Untitled
'Roses' Roses are red, the grass is green, I want you in my bed, if you know what I mean;-) 'Slap you' I didn't slap you...I just high-fived your face.
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55 words
Untitled
IT'S RAINING SIDEWAYS!.
0
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3 words
Never
Never say never. Oops.
44
8
4 words
Dumb Dogs
If curiosity killed the cat, then cluelessness must have killed the dog..
12
0
12 words
Calvin
"What State did you live in?" "Denial" -Calvin.
8
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8 words
The Past
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
8
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7 words
Exercise Class
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!.
110
2
31 words
Pac-Man
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean, if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music".
16
7
30 words
So What's The Problem?
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem. -- Phyllis Diller.
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31 words
Cloud Atlas, page 1
"If there be any eyrie so desolate, or isle so remote that one may there resort unchallenged by an Englishman, 'tis not down on any map I ever saw".
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29 words
Compassion...
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list..
14
1
16 words
Groucho Gem
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet.
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41 words
Smelly Cat
"It's not your fault. They won't take you to the vet, you're obviously not their favourite pet!" Phoebe Buffay .
2
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19 words
Schmidts favourite things about India - New Girl
“Well, you know, I love Slumdog… pepper, Ben Kingsley… the stories of Rudyard Kipling. I have respect for cows, of course.
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56 words
Tedious Bacon
Dull pig. What a boar..
6
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5 words
Charlie Brown
"Out of all the Charlie browns there are, you are the Charlie Brown-est" Lucy Van Pelt, Peanuts Gang.
2
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18 words
UNAGI
UNAGI- I am always aware. Ross Geller, Friends.
6
0
8 words
Untitled
The pen may be mightier than the sword, but swords don't run out of ink..
8
2
15 words
Untitled
If it weren’t for the fact that the PC and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn’t get any exercise at all. Joey Adams.
2
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27 words
Untitled
To all men who say: “A woman’s place is in the kitchen,” just remember that’s where the knives are kept. Anonymous.
2
0
21 words
Untitled
Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. So when you do judge them, you'll be a mile away and have new shoes..
6
0
25 words
Churchill
"You're terribly drunk Churchill" "Yes madam, but in the morning I will be sober, however you will still be ugly".
6
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20 words