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Ray: I saw your midget today. Little p*ick didn't even say hello. Chloë: Well, he's on a lot of ketamine. Ray: What's that. Chloë: Um, horse tranquilizer. Ray: Horse tranquilizer. Where'd he get that.
Ray: [after Jimmy doesn't wave back to Ray] Little f*cking c*nt..
Ken: Ray, did we or did we not agree that if I let you go on your date tonight, you'd do the things I wanted to do today. Ray: We are doing the things you wanted to do today.
[first lines] Ray: After I killed him, I dropped the gun in the Thames, washed the residue off me hands in the bathroom of a Burger King, and walked home to await instructions.
Ken: [standing up to leave and picking up his coat] Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf. I think I'm heading home..
Ken: [Ray walks into the bar high on cocaine] How'd your date go.
Policeman: [to Ray, who is trying to escape from Bruges on the train] Are you Irish. Ray: Yea. Policeman: What is your name. Ray: Er-Derek Fer... ler. Policeman: You eet the Canadian. Ray: What.
Ray: Why didn't you wave hello to me today when I waved hello to you today. Jimmy: I was on a very strong horse tranquilizer today; Wasn't waving hello to anybody. Except... maybe to a horse. Ray:...
Natalie: [Harry gets angry and is destroying the phone, his wife approach him, saying:] Harry. Harry. It's a inanimate f*cking object. Harry: [to wife] You're an inanimate f*ckin' object!.
Ray: Maybe that's what hell is, the entire rest of eternity spent in f*cking Bruges..
Ray: What are they doing over there. They're filming something. They're filming midgets. Ken: Ray...
Ray: Bruges is a s*ithole. Ken: Bruges *is* not a s*ithole. Ray: Bruges *is* a s*ithole. Ken: Ray, we only just got off the f*cking train.
When I was little, "I'm gonna to tell your mum" Was the scariest sentence EVER!.
Saving a file as "jfkginfjcdb" because you're to lazy to wright a proper title.
Telling me to have patience is like setting food in front me and telling me not to eat it... It's not gonna happen. :p.
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go," - Oscar Wilde.
Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called canibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies — Charlie and the chocolate factory.
Alice: why -is- a raven like a writing desk. Mad Hatter: I haven't the slightest idea.
Alice: This is impossible. The Mad Hatter: Only if you believe it is..
The Mad Hatter: There is a place. Like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger. Some say to survive it: You need to be as mad as a hatter. Which luckily I am..
The Spanish: They're just the Italians but with an S in front of it..
Chick-fil-A: you never mix politics with chicken..
Inspired by @nikujagagirl's "Weird Quotes Of Me", here are some quotes of my own that are quite random and quickly generate a pitied laugh from my friends.
"Ugh, mortals.