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Showing stories tagged with #dark-humor Clear filter

curiouscraig
curiouscraig

A Most Breadful Mistake

The story that I am about to tell Is one of great sorrow. I recently made a terrible mistake, And now I fear, toast is my foe. I awoke and rose from my bed, My stomach ready for food.

48 26 320 words
MrsS
MrsS

A Proper Burial

My Dearest Kate, we have been together only a short time, but I felt that it had been too long for you.

14 4 176 words
nikujagagirl
nikujagagirl

Parody of it's a small world

It's a sick world I noticed that a lot of people were making parodies of children's songs and nursery rhymes so I decided I would do one of it's a small world.

16 7 150 words
mort
mort

Drink ( Is It Worth It )

When you're feeling down. And you're life begins to stink. Have no fear my friend. Here's a bottle of drink. When you've drunk just half. Your brain decides to thaw. Here ya go my friend.

6 0 78 words
crowncottage
crowncottage

Miracle at McDonalds

MIRACLE AT McDONALDS THE FACE OF CHRIST ON A SLICE OF TOAST MINUS THE FATHER AND HOLY GHOST. DREW E.BAY BIDS FROM COAST TO COAST. THE FACE OF CHRIST – ON A PIECE OF TOAST.

70 17 172 words
StanWelch528491
StanWelch528491

OBR: The Four Smallest Candidates

It had been three days since we were drafted. 3 days of hard graft, of senseless murder, of sleepless nights. I could see the scores lined on the Walls of the sky.

14 7 718 words
TheCodsPollocks
TheCodsPollocks

Fantasy Football

A less than serious look at 'the beautiful game'.

16 34 403 words
milkeyedmender
milkeyedmender

Chicken Wing Dreaming

Little Wings laid in the smelly bin with his drumstick sticking out. He wasn't too very happy All he wanted was to get on out. He was all bones, naked and tired.

20 0 279 words
Delilah
Delilah

Chicken Concentration Camp

Right one of you is slacking And I don't know who it is, So until you start laying again This place'll be hen Auswitz.

28 28 135 words
PoppyA
PoppyA

Nic's Dragon

There was a young lady called Nic, Who's pet liked to play fetch with a stick. She'd throw it up high, & emerging from the sky, Was her dragon who didn't miss a trick.

26 10 92 words
BradThomson
BradThomson

Gates Of Hell

I stand there, staring at the huge, burning red doors, small gaps in between them to show whats inside, people walk in the gate but hardly out. They march in like mindless zombies.

20 4 125 words
4181jay
4181jay

Best Divorce Letter Ever

Not one of mine but worth sharing. Dear Connie I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during our 'cooling off' period but I couldn't wait anymore.

4 0 850 words
smellyfingers
smellyfingers

Dark Ninja - Jedi's

Ninja/Jedi saga inspired by the leg-end that be Lord @Weirdwolf and the sweet innocent Lady @HeatherAnne She was full of youthful innocence Pure heart, mind and soul She was full of remorse and...

30 17 160 words
TheViolator
TheViolator

Best Friend

Bloke goes into a bar and nails a quadruple whiskey in one.

18 14 69 words
TheViolator
TheViolator

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty hasn't got a clue. Sat on a wall to have a poo. Lent forward to wipe his arse. Fell off the wall, and made us all laugh. There he laid in a thousand bits.

18 1 63 words
Clairabethy
Clairabethy

Rabbit Maths

For at @leelee101 in sympathy for his rabbit issues. I had a rabbit, then got one more, I said "good night" and closed the door, A few days later there were four.

18 9 73 words
eddie12309
eddie12309

Pussy Cat Pussy Cat #2

I thought I saw a pussy cat a pussy cat I saw. Looks like she didn't get the message when I left chilli for her paw. No longer content with leaving telegrams in my veggie bed.

8 8 96 words
DemonCarter
DemonCarter

A Cat... Hang On, That Ain't A-!

There's three people in jail; a mental freak, a pervert, and a homosexual. The mental freak says, "If there's a cat here, I'm gonna fuck it!" The pervert grins, and says, "Oh yeah.

30 6 68 words
HeatherAnne
HeatherAnne

Vampire Cat

Deep in Opuss there's a vampire kitty, Who hides in his lair beneath the city. Of course he can't come out in day, So until night time he stays away.

28 3 79 words
eyes5ib
eyes5ib

Steeeeeeeeve The Truck Driver!!!

(for @OdinsFist). I was driving down the mountain road. In my truck was a heavy load. The road was covered on some ice. I hated it cus it was not nice. The snow was falling from the sky.

8 19 198 words
smellyfingers
smellyfingers

Craziville - Home (Part 2)

His original escape plan was flawed. In his deck chair he schemed some more. He thought of a cunning idea. A sure way to escape from out of here. It was diner time in late June.

28 8 160 words
TheCodsPollocks
TheCodsPollocks

Those Were The Days

I cast my mind back recently to my schooldays and my memory latched onto this little nugget (not my own work, just some thing I remembered). But first a WARNING !.

16 3 156 words
wolfie
wolfie

The Dalek Diaries:6

Dalek Flirtation Dalek 1: IS THAT A LASER ATTACHMENT IN YOUR ARMOURY UNIT OR IS MAKING CONTACT PLEASURABLE. Dalek 2: ..... (Zap. KABLAAM.

38 14 40 words
Delilah
Delilah

53

My heart has been ripped out And torn in two, I'm beside myself I don't know what to do.

10 0 87 words
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