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Showing stories tagged with #limerick Clear filter

Lilly_MeDarling
Lilly_MeDarling

Farts

There was a boy called Bart who liked to fart, Bart called his fart Cartmen, They played darts and played in a shopping cart, But this fart was a tart. The End..

2 6 32 words
Cam
Cam

Whippersnapper

The enjoyment of sex, although great, Is in later years said to abate; This may well be so, But how would I know. I'm only a hundred and eight!.

8 2 29 words
willheee
willheee

Inspired By @StoryTeller "the Frog"

Once there was a frog called Greg, He hid right up my trouser leg, I let one rip, He lost his grip, And now he smells of **** instead. I'm finding the frog inspiration ribbiting, so expect more!!.

2 0 38 words
Cam
Cam

Modern Mary

Mary Mary quite contrary, how does your garden grow. I live with my brat in a high rise flat, So how the frig would I know?!.

16 2 26 words
benthehen
benthehen

Monocle

There once was a young man from sky Who had a peculiar eye His girlfriend did pass A small piece of glass When he saw her he said 'My oh my!'.

0 0 31 words
Jammie
Jammie

Stutters

There was a young man from calcutta Who had the most terrible stutter He said pass the hham and the jjjam and the bbbbbbutter.

2 0 24 words
lumleyrob
lumleyrob

I'm Not So Sure.

I'm not so sure i was meant to be like this. I'm not so sure i was meant to feel like this. I'm not so sure i was meant to think like this.

4 1 53 words
iLeeam
iLeeam

Ewww...

There was once a woman from Spain, Who was awfully sick on the train. Not again, but again, And again and again, And again and again and again..

16 1 28 words
yetigoosecreature
yetigoosecreature

Limerick

There once was a mathematician named Hall, who had a hexagon ball, the cube of its weight, times his pecker size plus eight, is his number. Give him a call..

8 1 30 words
LiteralFeline
LiteralFeline

Old Man

There was an old man from Darjeeling, who boarded a bus bound for Ealing. He saw on the door 'Please don't spit on the floor'. So he stood up and spat on the ceiling!.

14 2 34 words
cassandra82
cassandra82

Chop Wood?

How many ducks would a woodchuck fuck if a woodchuck could fuck ducks?. ;-D.

6 0 14 words
clementallen
clementallen

Billy Limerick

There was a boy called billy with a ten foot willy and he showed it to the girl next door. She thought it was a snake so she hit it with a rake and now it's only five foot four..

20 0 40 words
clementallen
clementallen

Brazil Limerick

There once was a man from Brazil, Who swallowed a dynamite pill, His arse backfired, his balls retired and his willy ran over the hill..

20 1 25 words
joey2000x
joey2000x

Rude Limerick

There once was a man from China, Who wasn't a very good climber, He fell on a rock, And split his cočk, So now he's got a vagïña!.

4 1 28 words
TheShinn
TheShinn

Emma

There is a young lady called Dawson Who's fitter than Nigella Lawson With a sexy, tanned back And a steaming hot rack Her whole bloody package is awesome!.

6 0 28 words
MattVaux
MattVaux

Crude Limerick

There once was a young woman from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She laid down on her back And opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling!.

2 0 29 words
dspratt484
dspratt484

Limerick

There once was a man from Ealing, In his stomach he had a terrible feeling, But the sign on the door, Said don't spit on the floor, So he looked up and spat on the ceiling!.

2 0 36 words
dspratt484
dspratt484

Nantucket

There once was a man from Nantucket, Who kept all his cash in a bucket, but his wife named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. .

2 0 31 words
nollaigdream
nollaigdream

Bunny

Me am a little bunny, Me hop and skip and runny Me trained to kill With bunny powered will And a tiny bunny sized gunny.

14 0 25 words
daveydstarr
daveydstarr

Next Doors Cat

There was and old cat from next door Whose eye sight was incredibly poor. The door was closed, She bumped her nose. Now her nose is unbearably sore. By Maya!!!.

4 0 30 words
TheShinn
TheShinn

Botany

There was a young fellow from Leeds Who swallowed a packet of seeds In less than an hour His dick was a flower And his balls were covered in weeds.

6 0 30 words
bookworm28
bookworm28

Untitled

There was a young lady of Tottenham Who had no manners or else she'd forgotten em' At Tea with the Vicar She whipped off her knickers Because, she replied, she felt ot' in em'.

2 0 34 words
oli2000
oli2000

Limerick

There once was a boy called Oli Who was a bit off his trolly. He took loads of drugs And befriended the thugs And that was the end of Oli:( ***Not my real life***.

6 0 34 words
Stenataar
Stenataar

Hungary Horse

There was an old man from Torbay, Who's hair was coloured like hay. It was thick and quite scratchy, And on top a bit patchy, Where a horse had eaten lunch one day..

4 1 33 words
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