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I lost my Mars bar on an uneventful day in mid-July. I was hungry and this was a great loss for my stomach.
Hello Everyone, I am happy to announce that I have just received the results of my tests from the Psychiatric Hospital of the planet Zorg, and they have confirmed beyond all doubt that I am stark...
When I was a young lad we didn't have stairs, nope, none. You kids have it easy. Access to upstairs, access to downstairs whenever you feel like it.
So cinema night. Watching a film packed with fright. Ben and jerrys at the ready. Drinking fanta through straw glasses steady. Then an announcement.
In the year of 1733 Sir Gerald of Winthorpe rode his stallion through the marshes of Colchester where upon entering his fifth mile he discovered a lone peasant eating what can only be described as...
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday.
Drake and Josh fanfic Episode 1 By AWriterGirl and ClaireTilley "Hey," Drake said as Josh walked into their college dorm. "Gonna go to a baseball game, Kay?" Josh gave Drake a glare.
#bored. I'm a ghost hunter, but I've never caught a ghost. When they disappear that's what pisses me off the most. I just want some credit, I get laughed at in the street.
Three nuns went to a football game and three men got stuck sitting behind them. The men couldn't see very well because of the nun's little nun hats. So they came up with a plan to make them leave.
For Leelee101 Oh what are we to do Leelee has turned blue. Is he suffering with a cold In his hand a tissue to hold. Or has a DIY hair dye gone wrong The dye too permanent and strong.
If blondes and bimbos were the same thing, the prefix 'bim' could be used to create new words that describe them: Bimbabble - noises coming from a group of blondes Bimbaffled - constant mental state...
I went to the mall yesterday to do some bargain hunting. The security team to say the least were not pleased when I entered TK Max with my rifle.
WARNING : RUDE. Probably not for young'uns... The clue is in the title...
................Wibble....................................................................Wibble......... ..........Wibble........................... ..............................Wobble......
I swallowed quickly and gave a winning smile. 'I'll just go and get some drinks.', I said, slapping a hand on my face just after I shut the door.
Thought I'd tell you guys about this hilarious musical Avenue Q.
Day 1: So, if I'm meant to write a blog, do I just spill secrets, tell people who are going out with who and my fantastic life. Ok then. Let me spill them. Oh yeah.... Follow Me, Frances Bustiville.
For@Irrational_Kimmi and @MelchiorJ13 Jack and Kim sat on a swing, Giggling over strawberries and lemons. Said Kim to jack "can you sing?" he replied "no, but I do like a nice pair of melons.
#bored Lets talk about the doctor, this strange man from space He's always fighting Daleks and Cyber Men face to face But I think he's really lame, he looks like an absolute tit With his quiffy hair...
I knew this girlie Her hair was curly She was strapping though It turned out this girlie Who was rather burly Was once a chap called Joe Now Joe had a mate Who he once did date But it never worked...
WHAT KIND OF PHONE DOES DOG USE. I don't know. It has my teeth marks where I bite and shake it. It says NOKIA on the front. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SOCIAL APPLICATION OR WEBSITE.
Call out the Guards Raise the alarm Call 999 It can't do any harm. Inform the Armed Forces Light all the watch fires Wake up the dead And all the Town Criers.
*10 things in golf that sound dirty* 1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5.
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.