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Showing stories tagged with #dark-humor Clear filter

Fyrefox
Fyrefox

It's A Wrap!

Gloria had recently discovered those vacuum-seal bags that allowed for the off-season storage of bulky items such as blankets and sweaters.

12 8 413 words
aleishagayle20
aleishagayle20

Job Drive

Soothing calming this drive. The radio playing skrillex. This cigarette makes me feel so alive. Upto my usually tricks. The florescent lights blurring. Raving my heads nodding away.

14 13 173 words
LikeAFirefly
LikeAFirefly

Mirror, Cigarette and The Candle

A large mirror hanging around, watching a cigarette rest, Asking, 'Why are you lying there, your a smelly human pest?' 'Relax.

12 2 203 words
Delilah
Delilah

The Seven Sin Summit

In a dark, little corner downtown Seven shady figures gathered round, Each as deadly as the next, Each trying to be the baddest.

22 11 652 words
aleishagayle20
aleishagayle20

Doo Doo Doomsday

Omg!.

34 70 153 words
aleishagayle20
aleishagayle20

I Don't Like That Cat

The cat is strange A silly nasty stray Slightly deranged It's come out to play I can't stand it The cats too weird Just little piece of shit It's the cat I feared So disgusting and a plank...

18 17 210 words
PoppyA
PoppyA

Snap, Crackle & Pop-py

As I delve my spoon in, Deep in to the unknown, I realise to this bowl, To three creatures it is home. You've probably heard of them on the tv, Seen them on the box.

30 14 221 words
Weirdwolf
Weirdwolf

My List

*Swear words and stuff* Things to do before I die..... Kill 100,000 Zombies. Not on Left 4 Dead, 4 Real. Crush some fuckers skull in, to rescue a baby seal.

60 14 201 words
Zorua101
Zorua101

The Plague Is Called...

I recently (yesterday) bought Plague Inc. off the App Store and began to WIPE OUT ALL OF HUMANITY!!. And to have some fun, I named my disease Happiness. It was hilarious.

40 12 94 words
TheCodsPollocks
TheCodsPollocks

Omitted Verses

I've had a shit day. Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong - from the lawnmower breaking down after about 2 minutes, to my new (second hand ) iPhone refusing to sync with iTunes.

6 0 128 words
Weirdwolf
Weirdwolf

There Be Dragons!

'You sneaky little buggers!', the wise old dragon thought. With one eye barely open, he had spotted a man and his dwarf*.

58 12 310 words
aleishagayle20
aleishagayle20

Bum Fun

Pretty funny lol 16+ tho lol. Who would have thought it after all the sadness saw fit what would make me laugh the hardest would be a piece of shit.

14 11 135 words
smellyfingers
smellyfingers

Poo Boy

Warning!. 18+ very strong language but in a fun and friendly manner.

20 27 119 words
Weirdwolf
Weirdwolf

Milk

"Best we just wait here.", Jeff said: "seems daft to go outside." June was engrossed in her cross stitch, and nodded mechanically at his side. "Shall I put the kettle on?", he looked at her and said.

26 31 1013 words
tattyteddy
tattyteddy

Murders.....

"Hiyas," I wondered opening the door to Brian's apartment to find no ones there, accept his old tabby cat, Fred "heya Freddie," I said scratching behind is ear to hear him 'purr', " d'ya know where...

8 4 139 words
harokaz
harokaz

Mosquitos And Mojitos

Our story follows Martin, A Mosquito through and through, But although he seems quite normal, He hides a secret from me and you, As he buzzes to your ear, Like any other of his kind, Just to see if...

12 3 165 words
bryanrobertheap
bryanrobertheap

The Grim Reaper's Younger Brother

The grim reaper has a dark secret. The disgrace not spoken about at dinner parties. The non-black sheep of the family. His younger brother Nigel. Nigel is the happy reaper.

26 7 91 words
LIAM7
LIAM7

Jokes

When i grow up, i wanna be an imaginary friend What do you do when u have a tiger chasing you from behind, a bear on your right and cheetah on your left. GET YOUR DRUNK BUTT OF THE MERRY GO...

12 1 102 words
misslittleDHP
misslittleDHP

Pork Pie In My Eye

Passing a shop I walk on by When WHACK..a pork pie in my eye.

32 16 90 words
leelee101
leelee101

Curtains

The curtain twitcher was looking. At next door's latest booking. He got so worked up. Dropped his teacup. And started overcooking. She wasn't exactly dour. And her pay came by the hour.

16 2 103 words
leelee101
leelee101

Purse

There it was, upon the floor, a fat and bulbous purse I'd noticed who had dropped it, a lovely looking nurse Thought she may have realised, but she carried on her way So I picked it up, thought to...

14 7 323 words
iPuss
iPuss

Perversary Rhymes: #7. Duke Of York.

Adult content...enjoy. No. 7 The Duke of York The grand old Duke of york, He had 10,000 grams of coke. He liked to pop the odd ol' pill. He would never frown again. When he was up he was up.

18 2 57 words
iPuss
iPuss

Perversary Rhymes: #6 Three Drunk Men

Adult content..... No. 6 Three drunk men. Three drunk men... Three drunk men... See how they run... See how they run... One went after the barmans wife... The barman stabbed them with a kitchen knife.

24 2 49 words
tattyteddy
tattyteddy

Murderers...

-----From Brian's perspective --------------- 'I honestly dont know what I've done!' I kept on saying it an saying it, but no-one seemed to believe me, it's not like I would get rid of Sally like...

14 0 73 words
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