Thousands of free stories. Support your favorites when you're ready.
Showing stories tagged with #humor Clear filter
#delight A delicious aroma, Leave me wanting more, You set my taste buds alight, My sensations soar. My life without you is boring and bland, Everyone loves you, You've taken over the land.
PETS We are very selective when choosing pets. The standard of course is a Dog. Other options are cats, parrots, hamsters, mice/mouses and fish.
As I opened the door I froze to the core A shadow lurking Something creaking The room was pitch black Something was ready to attack Then it turned My stomach churned It startled me But as it got...
In my Bling Bling, I feel like a king, These pearls on some thread, Would make you drop dead, I'm up there doing my thing.
Inspired by Kim's T.A.R.D.I.S. bag...that's Time And Relative Dimensions In Suede... 'My phone is ringing honey Can you see who it is?' What. Go in your handbag.
I had a little giggle This morning About nine 'twas a post about...
On the naughty-step of life. Is where I spend most of my days. Showing up kids or being rude. Messing around rarely acting my age. From my little cold seat. A view from here on the bottom stair.
I am quite addicted,. You may think this is quite strange,. It stems out from my childhood,. And filters every range,. I cannot seem to help it,. And I cannot get enough,.
When first I saw it, I was eight. Instead of sleeping, I stayed up late.
Everywhere I go these days, My name keeps popping up. Vera this and Vera that...people just shut up.
#household. As far as healthy goes. And as everybody knows. Bananas and berry. Will make you feel merry. Until your asshole blows. For eating too much fruit. Will just make your bumhole toot.
You know I love you, my daily resort, But you keep on playing up. Some days we ease by with no troubles at all, others, you make me fed up.
(jokingly said, because yeah when your going through something painful it does feel like your the only one in the whole world who is going through it) That moment when someone says no one...
I know it is customary tat when you reach your 100th Opuss. A user has to thank everyone for their support and blah blah, blah but I'd thought I would do something different.
I'm on the m4 sat in my Toyota car. Going on holiday hoping its not far. It's pissing down and I really can't see. We are stuck in traffic and my son wants a pee.
A candy bar. A piece of cake. A lollipop. A chocolate shake. A jelly donut. Chocolate chips. Some gummy worms and licorice whips. A candy cane. A lemon drop. Some bubblegum and soda pop.
I watch them as they tumbled Around and around Hidden in the bubbles Where we can hear no sound What are they thinking As they gently sink below Deep in suds of rainbow Their colours telling tales...
The food is ready. The dinner is done. Tuck in now. Or the dog will have some. He'll take it off your plate. You'll just see the lick of the lips. Nothing else, he's cunning like this. You will shout.
I just came up with a form of transport that is going to revolutionise how we get from point A to point B. This staggeringly simple concept is totally green. It is good for on and off road.
#notonopusssotellingyouwhy So I'm off on my travels...
I cannot think, I cannot write, I cannot fathom why, I cannot even read a page, I think my brain has died.
I've got a kiddie day off. So I'm on my own. Having a spa day. In my very own home. So I lie here. Hydration mask on. Tea bags on eyes. Listening to whale song. I draw the line. At a cling film wrap.
Welcome to morning. I'm awake and I'm yawning. But my sister sleeps til one, And now I've seen the sun, No matter, a new day is dawning. Happy Wednesday, my friends, of the week.
If you are looking for a well structured opuss, don't read this. Basically, this is a collection of thoughts, jokes and quotes. It will probably be quite short though :) Knock knock. Who's there.