Perspective
I invented time travel tomorrow.
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5 words
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Karl Marx
Get out. Last words are for people who haven't said enough. (his last words).
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Oh Bother!
Sometimes the more I think, the more I realise there is no answer. ~ Winnie The Pooh..
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17 words
Untitled
I wish I could drink like a lady, I can take one or two at the most, Three and I'm under the table, Four and I'm under the host... Dorothy Parker.
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Happiness
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go Oscar Wilde.
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Untitled
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.” ― Ellen DeGeneres.
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Untitled
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt..
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According To Cary Grant
To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it. -- Cary Grant.
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CAPS LOCK
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!.
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Funny Simpsons Quote
Salesman- How many times have you opened your morning newspaper and had the rubber band hit you in the face. Marge Simpson- Never, but now its my main concern!.
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Mia Wallace
"Three tomatoes walking down the street, a papa tomato, a mama tomato and a baby tomato.
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36 words
Happiness
"If you are happy it's your own fault, because there is plenty in this world to be sad about." - Piet Hein.
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Untitled
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman.
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Untitled
If 'All the world's a stage', we are desperately unrehearsed. - Anonymous.
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Drink Much
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila..
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Know For Next Time
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught..
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Partner Versus Hand
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand..
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The Psychologist
Psychologist "I am a wonderful intelligent human being with fascinating Freudian insights.
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64 words
Did you hear me?
Yes I heard you, Im just ignoring you.
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Confessions Of A GP
As those of you who have had the misfortune of having your bottom examined by the doctor will know whats expected. Apparently things are done differently in Bulgaria.
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Bro Code #15
A bro never dances with his arms above his head..
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Bro Code #2
A bro is entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his bros are all doing it.
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20 words
Untitled
Your so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal, your so skinny you should really supersize the deal - Katie Perry.
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Bro Code #69
Duh..
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