Being a Gangsta Rapper Is Hard
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Barney Stinson-Nothing Suits Me Like A Suit
"Nothing Suits Me Like A Suit" Barney Stinson (Aka Neil Patrick Harris) Featured on How I Met Your Mother "Girls Vs.
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Untitled
Three blonde nuns in church on a hot day decide to remove their robes because of the heat. Not an unusual habit on a hot day.
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Died Inside
Morning has broke. So has my ass. I never thought I'd. Be so full of gas. Geez this stuff stinks. With that there's no doubt. Don't take a whiff. You might just pass out. You have been warned.
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Waving My Wand Around
I started to wave my wand around Back and forth and up and down As I began to shake it in my hand It started to make a loud beeping sound My excitement got the better of me And I nearly dribbled...
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Black Hole Bag
Inspired by Kim's T.A.R.D.I.S. bag...that's Time And Relative Dimensions In Suede... 'My phone is ringing honey Can you see who it is?' What. Go in your handbag.
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"Please Stop That Ella"- Story Time
" Shh everybody, before the end of school we are going to have story time. No, Michael, you will have to wait until the end of school to go home. Ok, once apon a time there were three bears...
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Naughty
On the naughty-step of life. Is where I spend most of my days. Showing up kids or being rude. Messing around rarely acting my age. From my little cold seat. A view from here on the bottom stair.
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One Drunk Spider
For @naaviie. I'm a *hic* spider,. *hic* and black,. With 8 long legs,. And a pack on my back,. I crept in the D-Den,. To *hic* hidden attic door,. And I drank all your cider,.
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Fruit Hat.
@Georgiastar #household Fruit hat, fruit hat Come get your fruit hat The vendor sells them custom made But if you wear them you could get shamed. Fruit hat fruit hat Look at all the styles.
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Chicken
#household @Glen My goldfish's name is Chicken; I know, I know, weird name. But 'tis the name thus written, which added to his fame.
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Aliens
I would like to discuss with you, readers, the question of whether aliens exist or not. Please join the debate in the comments section. My opinion is: of course aliens exist.
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Nothing to Sea Hear
Feral sea urchins ran amok while the fisherman watched from above. They did not posses the necessary skills required to apprehend them.
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The Time Travellers Other Half!
I am a worldly time traveller. Back and forth in time I go. I really love to do this. Because it makes my eyebrows glow. And when you see them glowing. All colours apart from red.
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A Letter From My Cousin.
Dear Sam, Good news. I'm outta the slammer. (you may remember that two years ago, I was falsely convicted of murdering my entire family.
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Ghosts Of The Kingdom
I'm a handsome man. A young prince you see. But this silly old ghost. Seems to be following me. It follows me when I'm cooking. Or reading a book. Even when I'm on the loo.
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The Teachers Jumped Out Of The Windows
The teachers jumped out of the windows. The principal ran for the door. The nurse and librarian bolted. They're not coming back anymore. The counselor, hollaring madly, escaped out the door of the...
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Awkward
My little Tinker Tom Nearly made me die on the spot I'm feeling embarrassed Blushing until my cheeks are hot He was chatting Telling me about something white How it made a noise And how it gave him...
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I Don't Like Monday's
Bob Geldof stumbled around town looking like a boomtown rat without a clue. He resembled an arctic fox that had lost in a fight with a blue whale. Deep in thought, watching passers by pass him by.
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I'll Murder A Swan.
I could not find my manservant Squirrel. He was nowhere to be found. He was not in my kitchen nor was he in my sock drawer. I summoned my other manservant Parakeet.
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Spa Day
I've got a kiddie day off. So I'm on my own. Having a spa day. In my very own home. So I lie here. Hydration mask on. Tea bags on eyes. Listening to whale song. I draw the line. At a cling film wrap.
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We're Is The Cat
This morning herd a meow had left back door open. Look all over the house for a cat then I found. Opuss massage. Alert sound of a cat. Lesson learnt..
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Joke #14
Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?" Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time," The Doctor nods, "Hmm." Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them.
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Joke #12
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.
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