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“A man will cut your arm off and throw it in a river, but he'll leave you as a human being intact. He won't fuck with who you are. Women are non-violent, but they will shit inside of your heart.”.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car..
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams.
“The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.”.
A kiss: To a young girl, faith; to a married woman, hope; to an old maid, charity. -- V.P. Skipper.
Hi Hey guess what!!!. My turtle George bit my camera he is a painted turtle and I found him up north at a lake so any other people with turtles out there write back.
Trapped in a cabinet. Can he get out. Will he get out. Course he will!!.
A succesful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A succesful woman is one who can find such a man. -- Lana Turner.
All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER. -- Dennis Leary.
Money may not buy happiness. But it can damn well give it. - Freddie Mercury.
I love talking about nothing. It's the only thing I know anything about. Oscar Wilde..
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.
A womans biggest desire. Eating all she wants and not getting fat..
Eating cheese is eating mouldy milk (it's true, this is not rally a quort bit hey it takes effort to type this man!!!).
I don't care much for those that talk shit behind my back. Their in the perfect position to kiss my arse!.
'Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?' 'Yes,' Harry said stiffly. 'Yes sir.' 'There's no need to call me "sir", Professor.'.
Hostile and curious, mouth ajar: an English face appears..
Smile and the world smiles with you, SNORE and you sleep alone!!.
She sells seashells on the seashore, Seashores have self sustaing supplies of seashells, Selling seashells on the seashore is a sh*tty sales strategy - Cyanide and Happiness.
Yes, i do, fuk u all.
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. ~ Erma Bombeck.
You can't buy happiness but you can buy ice cream and that's kind of the same thing….
"I smile because I have absolutely no idea what's going on" -unknown.
You and your boyfriend broke up. Please post some more Adele lyrics as your Facebook status..