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Julie was a schoolgirl. Fredrick; he was not. The day he went in the girl's loos, was the day that he forgot. The girls, they did not like it, They began to scream and shout.
Little johnnys dad comes outside to see little johnny killing honey bees with a rolled up news paper. "Johnny!" yells his father yelled. " it's not nice to kill things.
When Americans call chips "French fries". When Americans call crisps "Chips". When Americans call chocolate globbernaughts "Candy bars". When Americans call motorized rollinghams "Cars".
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party. He had nobody to go with. Did I tell you the joke about the butter. Nah I'm afraid you'll spread it. Did you hear about the big tall wall.
Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Some unfortunate names: SUE AGE Born Glasgow, 1849. PETER PIDDLE Baptised Fowey, Cornwall, 1649. ENEMA BOTTOMLEY WOOD Died Huddersfield, 1904. SEYMOUR BUST Born Halstead, Essex, 1841.
Here are 50 funny oxymorons: 50. Act naturally 49. Found missing 48. Resident alien 47. Advanced BASIC 46. Genuine imitation 45. Airline food 44. Good grief 43.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.
Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes. A: no idea Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs. A: still no idea Q: what do you call a man with a spade on his head.
COCA COLA WENT TO TOWN PEPSI COLA SHOT HIM DOWN DR.
An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square.
Enjoy your homework by R.U Joking. Out for the count by I.C stars. Cliff-top rescue by Justin time. Your turn to wash up by Y.Mee. Off to the dentist by U.first.
There was 3 people sat in a bar when the bartender said… were going to re-name the bar… one of the men said we should call it 'the queens arms'.
An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi,...
Two Mexicans have been lost in the desert for days. Crawling on their hands and knees and at death's door, they see a tree in the distance.
A spider (let's call him Arac Obama), whilst tidying up a corner of his web after catching his dinner, heard some laughter close by.
Jimmy had been naughty in class today so his teacher told him: "jimmy, go home and find out the first 4 letters of the alphabet".
The 1st kind of sex is called ... Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet Someone and you both have sex until you are Blue in the face. The 2nd kind of sex is called ... Kitchen Sex.
"A man walks into a bar and notices his friend sitting alone staring at a tiny man on the table playing the piano. "Wow, look how small he is, where did you get him?!" Says the man.
"A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him.
There is a two letter word that perhaps has more meaning than any other two letter word – it’s “UP.” It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we waken in...
C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them.
"Japanese banks have been hit almost as hard as American banks: The Origami Bank has folded, and we hear the Sumo Bank has gone belly-up too. Bonsai Bank plans to cut some of its branches.