BIG BANG THEORY
Son: dad, tell me about my birth Dad: well son, it all started with a big bang!....
8
2
17 words
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Marmite
People say I'm like marmite, not because they either love me or hate me, its because I smell like yeast..
8
0
20 words
BMW Joke
What's the difference between a rose-bush and a man driving a BMW. On a rose bush the prick is on the outside..
16
0
22 words
Speed Limit Of Sex
What's the speed limit of sex. 69, because once you reach that you have to turn back around!.
30
0
18 words
Untitled
Who lit the fuse on your tampon ?.
14
1
8 words
Lost My Cock
I lost my arm in the army i lost my leg in the navi. I lost my cock in a butchers shop and found it in my gravy :).
18
1
29 words
Mexican Maid
The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.
50
5
139 words
Air
Air is a lot like sex No big deal until you're not getting any !!!.
18
0
15 words
Pregnant Bullet...
A woman was pregnant with triplets. One day she decided to go for a walk when she was shot in the stomach. The Doctor said the children would be fine but they would each have a bullet inside them.
52
6
145 words
Nuns At The Pearly Gates
Three Nuns die in a car crash and go to see St Peter at the Pearly Gates.
28
13
106 words
"Guess"
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?".
26
0
15 words
Funny curse !!!
Shut the fudge up you son of a biscuit. Usually I hate curse words. Now I have to be careful while using fudge and biscuit??. Crap ;).
6
0
27 words
Porn Film
I watched the director's cut of a porn film the other day, at the end the guy actually fixes the washing machine!.
10
1
22 words
The Burlesque Show
A kid ran out of the burlesque show. The doorman grabbed him and asked what is the matter. The kid said, “My Mama told me if I looked at anything bad I’d turn to stone…. and I can feel it starting!”.
46
1
41 words
The Damned Egg
A Scotsman and an Englishman lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning he would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
90
6
248 words
Don't Fart In Bed
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
372
31
361 words
The Gambler
During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day.
64
0
466 words
Google Is Racist
Type into Google... 'White people stole my car' Press ENTER Then it will say... Did you mean, 'Black people stole my car' Racist!.
2
1
23 words
Google Is Racist
Type into Google... 'White people stole my car' Press ENTER Then it will say... Did you mean, 'Black people stole my car' Racist!.
0
0
23 words
Untitled
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship..
12
3
14 words
Stalker!
I was stalked today by my underwear they didnt leave me alone for 1 second they even sat on my foot in the bathroom shall i call the police. >:{.
10
0
30 words
Jingle Bells
Dashing thrugh the snow, on a V8 wondersled, crashing into trees, coz I am off my head,been smoking Santas pipe, a dozen beers or more, im heading to the red light zone to get my self a whore, oh...
10
1
80 words
Little Johnny
Little johnnys dad comes outside to see little johnny killing honey bees with a rolled up news paper. "Johnny!" yells his father yelled. " it's not nice to kill things.
18
0
138 words
Helpful Hand...
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand..
28
1
19 words