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Showing stories tagged with #comedy Clear filter

TommyWalsh
TommyWalsh

Nursery Rhyme-Fleeing The Crapfaced Godzilla

Bibitty bobitty boo, We're going to the zoo, We're going to see the animals, That want to make friends with you.

22 9 301 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

Hunting Toast And Not The Zebra

Foraging for my daily toast in the underbrush of Sherwood Forrest I noticed a zebra looking all lonley and deponent while looking at his reflection in the lake in front of it.

16 5 356 words
Thalia
Thalia

The Opuss Of Stuff

If you are looking for a well structured opuss, don't read this. Basically, this is a collection of thoughts, jokes and quotes. It will probably be quite short though :) Knock knock. Who's there.

2 0 125 words
Rainbow_Marshmallow
Rainbow_Marshmallow

Joke #10

A young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered a butcher shop and confronted the butcher with the news that the baby was his and asked what he was going to do about it.

4 0 171 words
cherrypopicecream
cherrypopicecream

How To Play Musical Instruments

A thick kid asks the thicker kid some questions. Thick: How do u play the drum. Thicker: Bang bang wallop Thick: Violin. Thicker: Screech Thick: Cow. Thicker: Make them talk - Moo.

16 1 49 words
Edhum3
Edhum3

Too Hot To Handle

They make eye contact across the room only to purposely break their line of sight. A pointless attempt to avoid forbidden thoughts, the curiosity of their minds demand they look again, then again.

20 3 181 words
bop365
bop365

Morning

Wake up. Yawn. Time. 9. Go back to sleep. Wake up. Yawn. Time. 9:50. Lie in bed. Get up. Throw on dressing gown Go downstairs Collapse on sofa Turn on telly White and grey stuff. ...

16 2 56 words
Edhum3
Edhum3

Ladies And Gentlemen Welcome To My Hangover

Kumbaya Ed-ward, kumbaya Kumbaya Ed-ward, kumbaya Kumbaya Ed-ward, kumbaya Oh Ed-ward, kumbaya Whilst I'm still drunk I'll be singing like it or not you'll be listening O Edward Kumbaya Whilst...

8 0 158 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

Parrots Of Sierra Leone

"Nuts for sale, nuts for sale.... Who will buy my nuts for sale". Said the old woman sat in her box of cardboard. She was draped in a newspaper from the blitz.

24 3 176 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

It's Getting Late But I Don't Mind.

"How very dare you Sir" said Lord Chickenlimb. "How dare you steal my betrothed?".

2 0 274 words
Rainbow_Marshmallow
Rainbow_Marshmallow

Joke #6

*An older woman gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer. Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer : Can I see your license please.

38 1 333 words
Rainbow_Marshmallow
Rainbow_Marshmallow

Joke #4

The bartender says, "No, we have cherries and grapes but no olives." "Oh," says the duck and leaves.

42 9 177 words
leelee101
leelee101

Loot

#augustwriteaday. #nightdwellers. There's no place to put your loot. When you're wearing your birthday suit. I hide mine. Where the sun don't shine. But that makes me walk like a coot.

26 11 54 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

Minsk Zoo And Inappropriate Footwear.

I met a man in Timbuktu. He was selling recycled flip flops.

4 1 239 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

Apology Part 2.

Some of you fine people have kindly read some of my last few Opuss', Opusses, Opusi... Opi?... I don't know the plural.

14 7 154 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

Bob And His Walnuts Of Wonder.

It had been 2 full years since Nancy last saw her cousin Bob but not only was he her cousin, he invented the walnut. He was famous for this throughout the land.

22 2 401 words
AWriterGirl
AWriterGirl

Bombshell Blonde-3

"Technically speaking," I contradicted, trying to look over my shoulder to see who it was. "That's impossible for someone not in.. Like.. A coma. Or something like that." "Hmph," the voice chuckled.

8 0 231 words
hannahrt
hannahrt

Ikea Craving

I have a bit of a craving, So im going to ikea tomorrow. To drive us all the way there, My friends mum i will borrow. Waking up nice and early, Ready to feed my desire.

20 5 103 words
DarkPrincessGirl
DarkPrincessGirl

Smells Like Teen Love. (Chapter 6)

Everything was perfect. I was engaged. It was amazing. I was currently getting ready to go to the park with Becca.

28 12 519 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

Stairs

When I was a lad we didn't have stairs. Nope, none at all. You've got it easy.

22 4 222 words
leelee101
leelee101

Headboard

Ladies, your mood will turn black You may feel the need to attack And what is the reason The Premier League season Oh yes girls, the footie is back.

26 36 109 words
TommyWalsh
TommyWalsh

Mosquito Stud

A mosquito has bitten me, Its really starting to itch, And I know I shouldnt scratch it, But I really cant resist.

44 8 83 words
eyes5ib
eyes5ib

Haribo Headache

Sitting in a the caravan while watching tv. Driving to our camp site in time for our tea. Eating sweeties. Haribos in fact. I start to feel sick but thats not enough. The Haribo's not gunna give up.

22 3 86 words
misslittleDHP
misslittleDHP

Itch

When hubby gets annoyed. A phrase he will always use. Cracks me up every time. It really does amuse. I often will say instead. "That really gets on my tits". He on the other hand says.

52 25 64 words
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