SomeEcards.com
I wish Googling myself yielded better results.
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Showing stories tagged with #humour Clear filter
Ladies 1st
“The first man that started saying “ladies first” must have been an ASSMAN…..”.
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13 words
Alarm
If only my alarm clock woke up later than me.
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10 words
Microsoft X
M ost I ntelligent C ustomers R ealise O ur S oft ware O nly F ools T eenagers.
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19 words
Untitled
Whenever my computer freezes, I feel like giving it a blanket.
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11 words
Untitled
A guy is on his computer ( he doesn't have a keyboard) PRESS F1 TO CONTINUE.
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16 words
Untitled
A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bar man says, "I can't serve you". The mushroom says "why not. Im a fun-guy".
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26 words
Untitled
Can anyone help me, it won't let me log in to opuss :(.
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The Confession
Women are like the police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession..
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?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?.
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Marriage According To Joey
"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway." - Joey Adams.
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Do You Concur???
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think..
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20 words
SomeEcards.com
I'd like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals.
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11 words
SomeEcards.com
You are not responding in the way I imagined you would respond when I acted out this conversation in my head. Stop it..
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SomeEcards.com
I plan to give you love, nurturing and just enough dysfunction to make you funny.
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15 words
SomeEcards.com
I need a new perspective on life... Or maybe just a nap. Yeah, probably just a nap..
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17 words
SomeEcards.com
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
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18 words
Untitled
You know it's good weed when even that tiny rescue spliff you kept smashed you..
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Flattery
"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." There seems to be a lot of flattery going on at the moment within Opuss!.
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22 words
Half Empty Or Half Full
An optimist will say the glass is half full. A pessimist will say the glass is half empty. An engineer will advise you, you have the wrong size glass..
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29 words
Wikipedia
Isn't it funny how you can type in Wikipedia on Wikipedia and Wikipedia comes up?.
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15 words
Untitled
"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly." -Winston Churchill.
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Blackadder
Let's not forget, Baldrick, that you tried to solve the problem of your mother's low ceiling by cutting off her head..
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Fat
Best line ever: Do these jeans make me look fat. No, your fat makes you look fat. Genius ....
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19 words