Spider In The Corner
The spider sits waiting, It looks with an evil stare, My teeth start grating, I will not go up there.
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Overgrown
At last. There's sunshine for breakfast. I've an appointment with the lawn. Best I get my shorts on, cos' it looks like its gonna be warm.
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99 words
Praying Again
Dear Lord. Well that didn't go too well. 1hr I was waiting here for this girl. So I went into the bathroom to see what she was doing in there.
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98 words
Rubber Duck
I decided to get a bath. I thought It would be a laugh. So I got out my rubber duck. But got my big toe stuck. It was wedged In the tap. How did it get in that gap. Now I feel like a tw*t.
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Origin's Of Whoopee
#household. I once sat on a cushion and farted. The people in the room they darted. I tell you the smell. It stunk like hell. I wish my bum cheeks had never parted. I also done one in a lift.
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163 words
Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot!
Sienna, a girl that we know Got so hot she started to glow She's down on her knees Will she please or just tease @sjw, we're ready to blow.
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Diary of a wimpy vampire: Facts and info
August 31st Did not get shoved into a trash-can today. Yippee!!!!!. Here's some more information on vampires (in case you haven't been doing your research).
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214 words
A Week To Nursery
Monday 'Tilly, sit down,' 'No miss-' 'Tilly' 'No miss I....I...me need to ask you a question,' 'What Tilly' asked miss berry. 'He....Um....Ham....Um...' Tilly started.
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The Incredible Adventures Of Captain Alopecia
Adult language used. It was the Big Day. I had prepared for this day for months and now it was time the criminal community met their match.
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428 words
Untitled
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead went to the water park to go down the water slide. An employee told them, "Did you know that the water slide is magical.
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Not An Average Teen Love Story 1
"Hey Lani," Mark stammered blushing. "Oh. Hey Mark," I stuck a piece of gum in my mouth and used a tone like I didn't care. "Will.... Will you go to the prom with me?" He had that cheesy in love tone.
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384 words
Ergh
I've got a really angry tummy, I think I ate something funny, Perhaps I swallowed a rock, Or had some bad soup stock. I seem to recall a certain meal, oh no.
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Naughty Nic|CheeseBattle
#cheesebattle Naughty Nic has come for cheese, She's dropped a thank you and a please, Her knickers, tie-dyed black and red, She'll make the grannies make her bed, So, welcome to the land of...
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Morning Shower
Oh if you don't have a shower every morning, You'll go about your business a with hum. Your friends will mill around for half a minute, Then off into the distance they will run run run.
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78 words
Never Too Ill
1 - earache. 2 - headache. 3 - nosebleed. 4 - sore throat. 5 - toothache. 6 - arm ache. 7 - leg ache. 8 - pins and needles. 9 - sickness. 10 - diarrhoea. 11 - swollen glands. 12 - chest infection.
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proof
#household. The top drawer is the place I keep my underwear. But there's a special object that I also keep in there. I've kept it very secret, so no-one else can see.
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The Wish Slide
An English man, an Irish man and a Scots man were spoken to by God. He said that if they walked for ten minutes to the east they would find a slide.
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179 words
Legless|Cheese Battle
#cheesebattle I'm used to being legless For I drink too much wine I'm balanced on a skateboard And I move around just fine The evil king's escaped So watch out girls, we're back I may be three feet...
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128 words
Super Ma'am
The country is in danger, The PM is a bear, But, never fear, And don't be scared, For Super Ma'am is here.
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You're Joking! | Cheese Battle
#cheesebattle So ladies, you've got Jack And you think you've won You really must be joking One last thing to be done My evil shirted sidekick I'm prepared to sacrifice I told you I play dirty Here...
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Surrender! | Cheese Battle
I'm sneaking through your lair,. The one of cheesy-stinky-hair,. Your cheese-string knots,. And silly boyish plots,. Really no match for me,. Because now i'm almost free,. Tip-toeing past cat-hats,.
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Get Off My Land!
There's a spaceship in my garden, it must have landed last night. I saw it there this morning, it didn't half give me a fright. I think it's a bit of a liberty, if they'd asked I wouldn't mind.
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Interlude Cont. | Cheese Battle
"Regretful news," I say,. Notorious Nic can't come out to play,. Perhaps I will launch a surprise pie attack,. Sometime later today,. But for now there is trouble downtown,.
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Patience | Cheese Battle
#cheesebattle A little impatient, I feel the win When will this mornings battle begin. A bit of an impasse, it could be draw Come on heroes, wat'cha waitin' for.
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96 words