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Showing stories tagged with #dark-humor Clear filter

4181jay
4181jay

Dave

Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt And sense of betrayal were overwhelming.

8 0 101 words
SianRLD
SianRLD

Blood Wedding

Do you take this woman. I said "Yes, I do" I love her like crazy, I think she loves me too. But we'll do without the family, If it's all the same to you...

8 3 205 words
jonah4
jonah4

Blood

Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood." "We're new here," says the second one.

14 4 127 words
mitchattitude
mitchattitude

I Think My Friend Is Dead

Two friends are out hunting in the woods when one of them suddenly falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes have rolled back in his head.

6 0 101 words
jonah4
jonah4

Dads

One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter she can't do it because he's her half brother.

8 0 119 words
The_Pineapple_Express
The_Pineapple_Express

...In God Weed Bust

Yesterday, federal warrants were issued and afterward served at numerous churches, mosques, synagogues and other places of worship throughout the country in an effort to locate, arrest and,...

0 0 239 words
amijoy74
amijoy74

A Really Bad Day

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

4 0 197 words
ms-141
ms-141

Untitled

A child was throwing a tantrum. His father said to him "I am extremely sick of your behaviour." So the child rush to the phone and called an ambulance saying his father was very sick.

4 2 134 words
Zoodark
Zoodark

A Pre Apocalyptic Monologue

In a thousand years time they'll look at this urinal, excavated from ash rock in a cave devoid of the ancient smell of piss. They can stand and gawk, enjoying cool respite from the tourist season...

20 5 269 words
The4thamigo
The4thamigo

Career Path Pondering

After a night of clubbing with baby seals I collapsed on the couch in front of the TV. A reporter had spent the day covering the trial of Norwegian terrorist Anders Breivik.

4 0 320 words
jamesparkinuk
jamesparkinuk

Escaping Life

A young Portsmouth woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the sea. Just before she could throw herself from the wharf, a handsome young man stopped her.

54 2 215 words
desorton
desorton

The Escapee

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

214 19 198 words
LaUrEnRiChEnS
LaUrEnRiChEnS

Untitled

A couple had three kids named Somebody, Nobody and Crazy. Nobody was the favourite, Somebody was jealous so he killed Nobody. Crazy saw what happened so he called the police...

18 4 47 words
AlexMurray
AlexMurray

A Short, Random Story 2

(the word was Bear this time) Sammo MackenBear had just got the news that mc Narhual had been assasinated, he had bearly had a chance to speak to him, though he had often (rather bearishly) warned...

12 2 305 words
Cam
Cam

Pregnant Bullet...

A woman was pregnant with triplets. One day she decided to go for a walk when she was shot in the stomach. The Doctor said the children would be fine but they would each have a bullet inside them.

52 6 145 words
Cam
Cam

Robot Secretary

Two friends meet in the office of one of them, a notorious techo-geek. "Hey, bud, how are ya?" "I'm good. Congratulations, that new secretary of yours is beautiful!" "Well, I'm glad you like her.

10 23 147 words
dude666
dude666

Little Johnny

Little johnnys dad comes outside to see little johnny killing honey bees with a rolled up news paper. "Johnny!" yells his father yelled. " it's not nice to kill things.

18 0 138 words
Eatonlynch
Eatonlynch

How You Know When Santa Hates You

1.your letter to the north pole gets stamped "dream on". 2.You ask for a bike and get a pack of cigarettes. 3.Along your presents, Santa leaves a hefty bill for shipping and handling. 4.

8 0 55 words
Eatonlynch
Eatonlynch

Children's Books From Hell

1.You were an accident. 2. You are different and that's bad. 3.Dads new wife Robert. 4.Kathy was so bad her mother stopped loving her. 5.Curious George and the high voltage fence.

10 24 45 words
bramblestar9010
bramblestar9010

Untitled

Be warned contains some semi graphic imaging including my cat. I have a cat which is now 15 years old I have had her since I was 1 years old.

2 0 152 words
bobbilawrence
bobbilawrence

Robot Boy

Mr. an Mrs. Smith had a wonderful life. They were a normal, happy husband and wife. One day they got news that made Mr. Smith glad. Mrs. Smith would would be a mom which would make him the dad.

34 2 234 words
desorton
desorton

A Father's Pain

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.

366 34 204 words
Eatonlynch
Eatonlynch

Untitled

A blonde goes to work crying."Whats wrong?"said her boss."My mother died"replied the blonde crying."Are you okay to work?"said her boss."Yes"sniffed the blonde."Okay,i'll check up on you later...

26 0 58 words
cooldrim
cooldrim

Cyanide

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,"I'd like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world...

26 1 133 words
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