True Love
True love doesn't have a happy ending; it doesn't have an ending.
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12 words
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A Monster and His Boy
This tale to you, I now impart, A story sad right from the start; There may be morals, Maybe none... But time my woeful tale begun.
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Untitled
Dear maths, I really can't express how fed up I have become with finding your x. Just get over it and accept they left you..
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25 words
Pens In Space
"When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity.
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63 words
HELP! I'M AN IDIOT
HELP. I'M AN IDIOT Revealed: Britain's stupidest call centre customers By Jeremy Armstrong A HILARIOUS collection of the stupidest customers to ring Britain's call centres.
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370 words
The Past
The past, the present, and the future all walked into a bar at the same time. It was tense..
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19 words
Proper Punctuation
Let's eat grandma. Let's eat, grandma. Punctuation saves lives. - Unkown.
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11 words
Don't Fart In Bed
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
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Untitled
We're searching for that person who will ruin your lipstick instead of your mascara.
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14 words
Typo's.
The letters 'T' and 'G' are too close together on my keyboard. In future I'm going to write 'yours sincerely' at the end of an email instead of 'regards'....
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Eyes
We have eyes in the front of our head because we should only look forwards and never look back..
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Bullying
I cry myself to sleep at night Just wishing it would stop Maybe tomorrow it will cease Then again, maybe not You push me and you poke me You call me hurtful names To me it's like a prison But to you...
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133 words
3 Things
3 things you cannot recover in life: the WORD after it's said, the MOMENT after it's missed, and the TIME after it's gone..
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23 words
Untitled
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad..
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Untitled
Since sex got easier to get, love got harder to find..
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Don't Forget...
It is important never to look down at anyone, unless you are helping them up..
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Mirror Me.
I'm shattered and I'm broken, But you don't seem to care, All you do is watch me, Through that mirror with your stare.
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The Yellow Microphone
I once had a yellow microphone, That when you switched it on, It gobbled up the words you said, And made them come out wrong.
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The Opuss Crowd (epic 200th post!)
The Opuss Crowd, Writing our words so proud, I just want to say thanks this way, Before I head off for some zoo-y days, There's a hell of a lot of you, I know, Even I look at this and think...
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The Opuss Files: Jack.
Hi guys. I've decided to start my own investigation into the cats and kittens that make Opuss tick... I'm going to be interviewing them. Up first, I cornered Jack, aka MelchiorJ13...
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876 words
A Father's Pain
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
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204 words
Mark Zukerburg is so dumb, he bought Instagram for $1 billion when he could have just gone on the app store and got it for free.
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Impossible To Please
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-storey hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
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255 words
This Is Me...MisslittleDHP
I am Kim...Kimbo to my friends I am small, never got to 5ft but what I lack in height I make up for in boobs and mouth.
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551 words