Untitled
Dear maths, I really can't express how fed up I have become with finding your x. Just get over it and accept they left you..
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Explore Unputdownable Stories
Thousands of free stories. Support your favorites when you're ready.
Pens In Space
"When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity.
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HELP! I'M AN IDIOT
HELP. I'M AN IDIOT Revealed: Britain's stupidest call centre customers By Jeremy Armstrong A HILARIOUS collection of the stupidest customers to ring Britain's call centres.
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The Past
The past, the present, and the future all walked into a bar at the same time. It was tense..
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Cleaning My Room
I cant clean my room because i get distracted by all the cool stuff I find.
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Proper Punctuation
Let's eat grandma. Let's eat, grandma. Punctuation saves lives. - Unkown.
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Don't Fart In Bed
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
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A Monster and His Boy
This tale to you, I now impart, A story sad right from the start; There may be morals, Maybe none... But time my woeful tale begun.
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Eyes
We have eyes in the front of our head because we should only look forwards and never look back..
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Typo's.
The letters 'T' and 'G' are too close together on my keyboard. In future I'm going to write 'yours sincerely' at the end of an email instead of 'regards'....
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3 Things
3 things you cannot recover in life: the WORD after it's said, the MOMENT after it's missed, and the TIME after it's gone..
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Untitled
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad..
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Untitled
Since sex got easier to get, love got harder to find..
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Don't Forget...
It is important never to look down at anyone, unless you are helping them up..
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Untitled
We're searching for that person who will ruin your lipstick instead of your mascara.
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The Opuss Crowd (epic 200th post!)
The Opuss Crowd, Writing our words so proud, I just want to say thanks this way, Before I head off for some zoo-y days, There's a hell of a lot of you, I know, Even I look at this and think...
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Mark Zukerburg is so dumb, he bought Instagram for $1 billion when he could have just gone on the app store and got it for free.
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Mirror Me.
I'm shattered and I'm broken, But you don't seem to care, All you do is watch me, Through that mirror with your stare.
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The Yellow Microphone
I once had a yellow microphone, That when you switched it on, It gobbled up the words you said, And made them come out wrong.
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A Father's Pain
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
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Impossible To Please
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-storey hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
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The Opuss Files: Jack.
Hi guys. I've decided to start my own investigation into the cats and kittens that make Opuss tick... I'm going to be interviewing them. Up first, I cornered Jack, aka MelchiorJ13...
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People
"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss activities; Small minds discuss people." - Eleanor Roosevelt.
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This & That
There once were two called This and That, One a weasel, one a cat; They lived inside a circus tent, Built on a raft to save on rent.
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