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During my trek through Amazonian lands I happened upon a fairly suspicious Plant. His name was Robert, I came to learn. "Robert what are you doing out here in this inhospitable land?" I asked.
History would tell you that the Norman Conquest was an event or a number of them that took place in the year 1066 in England, which by coincidence was the same year as the Battle of Hastings.
Spongebob: Bye Squidward. Bye Mr. Krabs. Byyyee Squidward. Patrick: Spongebob. Why did you say goodbye to Squidward twice. Spongebob: I like Squidward Spongebob: Can you hear me.
Short story about two thieves and security x) enjoy :3 *~*~*~*~* "D-D-D-D-D-D-" "WHAT?!??" I yelled, stopping Kai from saying 'D'. He places his finger over his lips, "Shh.
#opussweeklychallenge Crime number 666 Dci R.S.Spanx Sunday 11/11/2012 Suspect- the devil Crime report details- The suspect mr Jesus devil (the irony) was seen walking through a...
The second of many. Antigravity Theories: Cats always land on their feet. Toast always lands butter side down. Method: attach some toast, butter-side up, to the back of a cat.
Gather round fatties, gather round. Sit back in comfort and let your minds drift. Tonight I shall regale you with the deeds of Jimmothy.
It's a war upon the government, A battle for our rights, We will fight the days away, Until the days turn into nights.
A kid named Buttitches had his first day at a new school. When the teacher asked what his name was he said "Buttitches".
Princess Titanium was riding on her ebony steed In the enchanted forest of mystery and greed When out of the trees something made her steed jump Princess Titanium fell to the ground with a thump A...
They call me gaz the man who knows all I know the facts however big or small Never talk to the old lady down the road as she's a moaner It's illegal to own a framed picture of Ian Beale in Arizona.
When I was a lad we didn't have stairs. Nope, none at all. Your generation have got it easy.
Here's a moment from the zany and tragic life of Edgar Conan Parker.
"A moa with a mower Is a fine and dandy thing." Said the man before me, Who made my doorbell ring. "A moa with a mower. Don't be so absurd.
#fanatical #youngwritershousehold @Jamtots @MrAlex So I met this one guy Who was apparently a radical, No clue what that is, But he was super fanatical.
There was this lad who lived on a council estate in Scunthorpe who had a head that was fucking massive.
Princess Titanium and her trusty tits Had been on a fighting crusade Kicking ass across the universe Her love of doing this would never fade On a distant galactic star she did meet Her nemesis, the...
In the year of 1733 Sir Gerald of Winthorpe rode his stallion through the marshes of Colchester where upon entering his fifth mile he discovered a lone peasant eating what can only be described as...
I went to the mall yesterday to do some bargain hunting. The security team to say the least were not pleased when I entered TK Max with my rifle.
Ray: Why didn't you wave hello to me today when I waved hello to you today. Jimmy: I was on a very strong horse tranquilizer today; Wasn't waving hello to anybody. Except... maybe to a horse. Ray:...
Kids, it's a tough world out there... or here so I have prepared some facts to help guide you along the journey that is called life. Fact1: If you eat cornflakes after midnight you will die.
Foraging for my daily toast in the underbrush of Sherwood Forrest I noticed a zebra looking all lonley and deponent while looking at his reflection in the lake in front of it.
A thick kid asks the thicker kid some questions. Thick: How do u play the drum. Thicker: Bang bang wallop Thick: Violin. Thicker: Screech Thick: Cow. Thicker: Make them talk - Moo.
It had been 2 full years since Nancy last saw her cousin Bob but not only was he her cousin, he invented the walnut. He was famous for this throughout the land.