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Showing stories tagged with #bathroom-humor Clear filter

mort
mort

Daft Idea!

I have a little problem Of this i'll say to thee I've covered up my japseye Now it's hard to pee If I'm slightly careful I won't wet my pants If I feel it trickling You'll see me start to...

12 3 64 words
JackHeeley
JackHeeley

First World Problems

I was in bed the other night, when I found myself needing to use the toilet. Now, I'm talking about 3 in the morning. It's a god awful moment.

8 1 430 words
daddysgirl12
daddysgirl12

i need a pee

a little boy got out of his bed and went into his mothers room her woke her up and said mum can you take me to the bathroom ( their toilet was downstairs) she said okay tell me what you did at school...

28 5 117 words
mort
mort

LOL

I'm having a moment. I think this is it. I'm writing this poem. While taking a shit. It just seems to me. While I'm sat on the bog. The greatest thoughts ever. Seep through the fog.

36 11 54 words
mpallister24
mpallister24

Peg

Give me a peg Because this stink Has killed my nostrils I think Give me a peg Because this fart Has made me faint What a work of art Give me a peg Because this reek Really does kill It's a...

24 13 59 words
leelee101
leelee101

Buffet

# household The buffet at the christening Contained something, there's no doubt For I am holed up in the throne room Trying to work it out Maybe 'twas the prawn ring Defrosted once or twice I only...

26 25 91 words
Burrfoot
Burrfoot

Tag Nuts

I have a hairy bum I'm hairy from my tum. It doesn't cause me trouble, Except when I'm bending over double. You see after a serious turd, I'm not sure you girls have heard.

16 19 78 words
leelee101
leelee101

Gentlemen's Etiquette

#household. Ah, the water closet. As it's also known, the loo. The place to perform etiquette. For gents, ladies, not you. Say, for instance, there's four traps. Or urinals as they're known.

28 18 209 words
misslittleDHP
misslittleDHP

Burrfoot

To give my friend a little laugh Let's talk dirty, you might need a bath He likes things just a tad rude Not vile or disgustingly lewd So here for you, I share my ditty About farts, wee, poo....how...

18 20 106 words
Burrfoot
Burrfoot

Excreta

Some of my finest thoughts are conceived upon the bog. Contemplating life around me as I excrete the morning log. While carrying out the daily ablutions Some major problems find solutions.

30 15 146 words
madhatter
madhatter

Bathroom War

#householdchallenge @eddie12309 It's now midday, the smells away, But the brown thing still remains. With my sword at my side, a glint in my eyes, I know what needs to be slain.

24 12 156 words
merlin1038
merlin1038

Gone With The Wind

This started as a collaboration with miss little, I hope you don't me mind posting a slightly different version The strong hand of windy fate, Brought together misslittle and merlin1038.

18 4 255 words
misslittleDHP
misslittleDHP

Til Death Us Do Fart

A collaboration with a fellow kindred spirit merlin1038. The strong hand of windy fate. Brought together misslittle and merlin1038. A problem as old as the hills.

26 15 167 words
leelee101
leelee101

Poo...

WARNING: NOT NICE...

26 14 192 words
Weirdwolf
Weirdwolf

It's raining again, quite heavily, and I've had a beer. I wish the downstairs toilet, was closer, far more near. It's like an army assault course, in the middle of the night.

78 20 114 words
littleone
littleone

Lost Treasure

I take a deep breath, knowing it will be my last for a while. I plunge into the water, heading straight to the bottom. As I reach my target, I feel around, combing for any treasure.

10 0 82 words
HeatherAnne
HeatherAnne

Shutting The Toilet.

You're supposed to leave the toilet seat down. Oops. My bad. I'm ashamed. And all those times you asked who does it- All those people wrongly blamed.

14 0 101 words
HeatherAnne
HeatherAnne

Toilet Scare!

So I was sitting on the toilet, reading a book, (There was a basket by the door, so I thought I'd take a look.) Someone impatient knocked on my door, Regardless of the notice that I know they...

56 28 263 words
misslittleDHP
misslittleDHP

Boo Hoo Loo

I was in a predicament Rushing into the loo I went I sit for what seems eternity It's ok it was just a long wee Then I look to my right Oh no this can't be right No loo roll yet again I'm sat there...

16 12 108 words
misslittleDHP
misslittleDHP

Poopa Scoopa

I'm sitting quietly on the loo My poo won't come out What am I going to do.

6 6 111 words
mort
mort

My Bathroom

Here i sit. On the toilet at home. This toilet is my toilet. This toilets my throne. I visit the bathroom. About 6 times a day. To stink out the toilet. To keep you away. If you dare enter.

6 1 79 words
harokaz
harokaz

Opoos

Shit. Shitshitshitshitshit where is it. The man rummaged around, desperately upturning his already upturned room. I had it just a second ago.

4 0 116 words
naaviie
naaviie

Bathroom Bandits

They charge across the bath waters,. Shouting of the Great Three Seas,. Cheeky bathroom squatters,. Always upsetting my Siam-ese,. I watch them scale the shower,. As they mount an attack,.

12 4 93 words
misslittleDHP
misslittleDHP

The Loo

The loo sits there all crisp and clean. Just waiting for a friendly bum to see. It's boring at times just waiting there. But 'oh yes' someone's having a wee. The flush gives the loo a quick bath.

0 0 195 words
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