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So me and the missus get dressed all dapper, And off we trots lookin' prim an' proppa, "I wanna night out" she twines to me, So it's off down the ale'ouse for mash an' peas, "Gord 'elp us Stevo" she...
Saturday, July 28 2012 So today Dr. Doomie tried to win against Super Duper Man today. Something about a death ray. Thats all I picked up from this rant. I dont like being Dr Doomies cat.
Ok this actually happened, it occurred right as I'm writing this out.
Hmm I say to myself my roots just won't keep,My hairdressers busy for a at least another week, If I put on a box dye just to see me through, I'll get it done properly next time save some cash too, I...
Don't read this. Do exactly what I put. Stomp upstairs (or march!). Jump up and down x5. Turn around. Shout your mum. Sit down. Lie down. Shout your name. Say 'I'm a fool!'. Watch your mum walk in.
So this blind man wanted to visit Texas one year. He checked in at the airport and when he finally got on the plane he noticed that the seats were really big.
Person 1:...
'Oh my,' said Mr. Left Thumb, 'This week has been a farce. I've bled until kingdom come Because of some silly arse.
Friday, 11 February 2011A Mans Essential Guide to PMTEvening Campas Before i start with the useful print out information guide i would like to share with you my crap day.
Monday, 31 January 2011The Birth of Number two, yours and mines future prime minister Twas on this cold night 12 years ago in 1999 that something happened to me.
On holiday in Thailand, I had a close call and almost ended up sleeping with a Ladyboy. She looked like a woman, spoke like a woman, and I didn't suspect a thing.
Cleaning the bathroom should be a simple task, oui. Non. Not if you're me, in which case most things seem not be an easy task because something always happens, a common thread in my life.
A man approaches a young woman in a shop, he asks "is it ok if I chat to you for a while.
Yesterday; Tom; "This guy at work is really pissing me off with his snide comments, I would do something but it's awkward infront of everyone.
Another tale of goblins, I think must now be told, this time of three goblins, one short, one tall, one old.
Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head.
A woman has three daughters, and the first one come up to her and says. "Mummy, why am I called Lily?". She replies "Because when you were born, a Lily landed on your head.".
A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to Las Vegas. Overnight, he has a fantastic run of luck. He stumbles out of the casino and finds a pay phone.
Part 3 - Nit-Pick Guy Why not add your own after me. Show me how it's done. Roses are Red, But they can also be deep red which florists sometimes call claret.
These are taken from papers turned in by high school students: • His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over.
A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop. The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun.
A young man moved into a new flat and went to the lobby to put his name on the postbox. Whilst there, an attractive young lady comes out of the flat next to the postboxes, wearing a dressing gown.
One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried. "What's the matter?" the bartender asks.