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Did you fall down the stairs. – no, I wanted to kiss the steps. Have you been robbed. – no, I gave them my valuables and they ran away in happiness. Did you take a bath.
18+ .. Btw this flicks from a view similar to mine; to a satirical viewpoint from perspective of others.. And some places in between, but on the whole it's rambling nonsense....
It was time. It had gone on for too long, and it was out of control. It had to be stopped. I could take no more. It was driving me insane. A million questions ran through my head. Should I.
A few years ago, there were three witches, a blonde, a brunette, and a ginger. They had just gone on a crime spree and were about to be executed at a firing range.
#acrostic. At first if you don't succeed. Bollocks to trying again. Cheating is a gift from god. Deny it of course 'amen'. Eat whatever you like. F**k whoever you choose.
[12+ A couple of swear words and seriously bad attitudes] A ntidepressant shocking cocktail hit, B eta-blockers and psychology bullshit, C affine, 50 milligrams, injected directly into veins, D...
#opussweeklychallenge This ain't your average yard sale, kids, We've got something new in store. You're sitting on it, It's all around you, Would you like to know more.
#opussweeklychallenge Come on everybody, step forward, don't be shy I've a one time only offer that you shouldn't let pass by For sale: the thing you're standing on, can't fit it in my van But...
All day long I leap, I jump and I hop around I have a vivid green skin, that's the way I'm found My home is cool ponds and pools of freshwaters My protruding eyes keep me safe from any predators Now...
#Sundayrepost I'm so glad, I don't live in a tank I once ate a guy named Hank I bit off his head He's definitely dead And what I didn't eat sank I swam from Australia to Cuba I ate a guy doing...
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, Marrying you completely screwed up my life, I see your face every time that I'm dreaming, that's why I always wake up screaming. Three words to describe you.
Today's today's news today and not tomorrows yesterday's today's news. standard.co.uk reports "Pork DNA found in Halal prison food". -Good.
#fillintheblank There once was a man named Jack. Jack really loved to leave the toilet seat up.
I never quite knew who lived next door. Fleeting glimpses through the curtains. They certainly appeared to be very poor. That I'm sure was very certain. The house was in a state of total disrepair.
#fillintheblank There was once a man named Jack. Jack really loved to experiment. One not so average day, however, Jack had a nasty run-in with a vacuum cleaner.
Yesterday's news today. Because I am not very efficient.
#fillintheblanks #lazyandobviousiknow There once was a man named Jack, Jack really loved to swing.
I'm a bit of a hit with the ladies, you could say I've got the tools You could be a hit too, if you follow my golden rules...... 1. Never compliment them, (it always goes straight to their head) 2.
#pundaymonday It was a cold day in January, When a man named Phil Lew, Got up out of bed, Wiped his nose and Put a hat on his head, And decided to wreck havoc.
Dear Diary, So today I make storms, Do floods, sprinkle snow, All the usual stuff, yer know.
Chapter 1 The garden of mr batten Mr batten was a fierce old bloke with a flaming red beard and two terrifying bloodshot eyes that always stated out at you, like a bear who has just been woken in...
It was a cold day in January, When a man named Phil Lew, Got up out of bed, Wiped his nose and Put a hat on his head, And decided to wreck havoc.
#sundayrepost. There's a werewolf in my garden, it's been trying to get in my door. I've barricaded the windows and I'm cowering on the floor.
The snowmen are starting their revolt It's about time the humans got out They're sick of being frozen And the humans giving them nought They bring us happiness When you build one of their...