The Cat
The cat. He stares at you with wide eyes as you enter the house. You suspect something...
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64 words
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It's raining again, quite heavily, and I've had a beer. I wish the downstairs toilet, was closer, far more near. It's like an army assault course, in the middle of the night.
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114 words
Pusscat
Pusscat, Pusscat, Sitting on me lap,. You were soaking wet when you came in the cat flap,. Now youve gone and got all the water on me,. And youve got a lot of fur in me drink of tea,.
10
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104 words
Other People's Cats
At my back door this morning Sits a cat called Dave He's from a house just up the road But he doesn't misbehave Until it's time to put him out And he's underneath my table Then he'll play his chair...
30
1
115 words
My Cat Sweeny Todd
I have a cat called sweeny Todd And I'm telling you he is very odd Only been with me a couple of years He looks rough as hell but always purrs But the trouble is he likes to shit Right under my bed...
8
2
130 words
The Creaky Step.
I swear I'm just unlucky, It's disheartening to know, I'm really badly jinxed, It really is poor show.
68
8
189 words
Note To My Hens
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94 words
Knickers RIP
The dog has nicked my knickers. I don't know what to do. I don't see how she thinks my pants Are something she should chew.
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82 words
To My Sock
Right. Where have you gone. It's been almost a week. If you don't turn up soon I'm going to call the police. I'm really starting to get the vibe That you're not so keen On covering my wee tootsies.
32
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239 words
One For The Guys!
What is with women getting so pissed about men not putting the toilet seat down. No need to get huffy about it or support a silly frown. Maybe you should have considered that he has been sweet.
34
11
164 words
Pussy Cat Pussy Cat
I thought I saw a pussy cat, a pussy cat I saw. She was prowling across the lawn, with mischief in every paw. She headed for the veggie patch, the veggie patch she went.
22
3
90 words
It’s Started
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.” The wife sighs and gets him a beer.
6
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326 words
Bull Frog
A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.
16
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207 words
Ovens, Dogs And Cat Enlightenment
I trod on the dog. That in itself wasn't a problem - she may beg to differ . The consequences seem to have been far more than a little bit of guilt.
4
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118 words
My Life
Tra-le-la-la-la Just putting the washing out. It's sunny today. I'll go inside and see if anyone's posted anything interesting on Opuss.
8
5
81 words
I'll Do The Dishes!
A girl invites her boyfriend home for dinner and tells him they'll go for a long ride after that. Boy is eager and gets his motorbike checked at the garage.
10
2
244 words
The Tale Of The Three Cats
Once upon time, There was, I say, Three cats in a house; They sat there all day. Their fur pelts were washed Thrice over for each, By pink rasping tongues And yellowing teeth.
2
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268 words
Mild Mannered
A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife; so he went to a psychiatrist.
2
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155 words
Man Of The House
Tony had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'You Can Be The Man of Your House.' He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this...
14
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151 words