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You leave me and my friends sitting in the produce aisle, For most of the calendar year; But then December comes along and you go all Delia, Think you can cook my lovely green sphere.
#adventchallenge I think I'm in love. He's a gift from above, That brightens my advent time. His deep, dark eyes, Hide more of a surprise, As he's not like other men.
#confessionalhusband Honey I shrunk the bank balance, When I was in the U S of A; I just couldn't resist the sales, On Thanksgiving Day.
#adventchallenge. Six foot fibre optic tree,. Lights all twinkling effortlessly,. Got it at a bargain price,. Fifty percent off that'll be nice,. Added to it with my blue led's,.
#weeklyopusschallenge. A day in the life of Mrs Santa Claus, it's not what you might think. You see Santa's a dirty bastard and he also likes a drink.
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I'm going to bring the festivities on with glee Behave without an inch of dignity I'm going to sing and stand on a chair With bauble earrings and glitter in my hair I'm going to drink an awful...
#opussweeklychallenge #adventchallenge All of the Christmas tree decs Knew that the fairy would cry When she came out of her box To view Yuletide from up on high She was the piece de resistance It...
#weeklyopusschallenge Warning. Bad language . A Day in the Life of...... Rudolph . Yep, that's me. Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer - the most famous reindeer in the world.
#weeklyopusschallenge. Hi all I'm Mrs Mistletoe,. Ill tell you about my day,. Just so you all know,. So listen to what I'm about to say,. Today I attended a Christmas party,.
Is there anything more stressful, anything to cause more strife Than doing Christmas shopping for a present for the wife.
#adventchallenge Please note, use of one rude word. Also, the following is fact-free!.
Christmas time is coming And I am getting fat, Give me another mince pie, And another after that.
#adventchallenge #MINCEPIES You may think, I'm a little obsessed, I may even act, A little possessed. For, you see, I do love, These MINCE PIES, From above.
#adventchallenge I spy, Mince Pies, 1099 of them. They are waiting for us inside, This bath tub. I spy, My clothes, and all of yours, On the floor, In front of us. We are in the altogether.
I've been waiting in anticipation With tingles in my toes The closer that Christmas gets The more the feeling grows I've tried with all my might To be good for all this year I know I have been...
#adventchallenge Take a quick look at the picture above And you'll see what's falling, as white as a dove A beautiful scene, pure crisp and bright Winter wonderland and a Christmas delight It's...
#adventchallenge I am an advent gift, what am I. I am 12inches long, I can fit in a thong, If you hold me, I'll turn on Got a dark bedroom. Bring me along.
#adventchallenge. Jack's Christmas Lust, sorry, List:. A kiss (wet, like a fish). A spank (hard, with a plank). A toy (not a girl toy, but a boy toy). A rub (a dub dub, three of us in a tub).
The children awake, For advents sake, At 6 'o clock in the morning. A chocolate rabbit, Pushed up my nose, While I was happily snoring.
To the tune of Rudolph the red nose reindeer #xmasparody We need to wrap the presents Pretty paper shiny bows Ensure the gifts covered We don't want no peeping holes Scalextric boys all love...
@Eddie12309 #fashionpolicereport Date: 25 Dec 2011 Time: 2:00pm Convicted: Mum Witnesses: Children Crime: Pudding Glasses Report: It was during Christmas dinner 2011, that the assailant stood...
As Hallowe'en approaches, one thing I know for sure This year I won't electrify the handle of my door I promise to join in and not pretend that I am out And I won't insult kids costumes if their...
Sorry, I'm a bit early with this poem but some of my friends are already excited for Christmas and I feel like a bit of a Scrooge because I don't get excited until like 3am Christmas morning and that...