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Showing stories tagged with #humor-poetry Clear filter

Delilah
Delilah

Hell Hath No Fury| Cheese Battle

#cheesebattle Don't you remember yesterday's trip When I gave you all the slip For a little journey up the Mournes Like the Sound of Music only in Ireland (Norn).

14 6 231 words
Platypus
Platypus

Troublesome Times

#youngwritershousehold (Sung to the tune of 'Favourite Things') The lightbulb needs fixing, The drain pipe is leaking, We've had a fight, So now no one is speaking.

4 0 109 words
oushie12
oushie12

CONFESSIONS OF A DRESSOHOLIC!

I've got a bad obsession, It needs to be controlled, For I fear my wardrobe may no longer hold.

10 6 194 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Hot Sauce|CheeseBattle

#cheesebattle. Well, Delilah,. Aren't you getting feisty,. Like flaming salsa red hot sauce,. You sure aren't acting nicely,. So cool it, D,. Don't get your second,. Knicker layer twisted,.

18 8 67 words
mpallister24
mpallister24

I Think My Dad Is Dracula

I think my dad is Dracula. I know that sounds insane, but listen for a moment and allow me to explain. We don't live in a castle, and we never sleep in caves.

20 3 116 words
misslittleDHP
misslittleDHP

Shoot Puke

I knew my Friday night was doomed As the cloud of illness loomed My little girl acts 18 but only 8 Was very quiet and in a state She'd not been well all day long A mothers instinct it is strong I...

30 25 183 words
eddie12309
eddie12309

A Wee Moose

#alittlechallenge I'm a wee moose And I've got no hoose But live in yer attic Make a din so erratic I'm a wee moose And I've got no hoose But I hear ye below Moving to and fro I'm a wee moose And...

24 12 58 words
Barknbite
Barknbite

More Choccy Philly... MORE???

@leelee101 @sara_lou @sjw @Burrfoot @Stablish This has been most disappointing, Spreading Choccy Philly on toast. I found this entirely unappetising, The experience; absolutely gross.

32 9 120 words
tattyteddy
tattyteddy

Rocking Chair

Quite Short - hope you like it :) #youngwritershousehold * I went to a yard sale, I came across a wail, An old wooden chair, Squeking - here and there, I bought the old wooden chair from the sale.

14 8 82 words
gazplend
gazplend

Weird Dreams

My dreams are getting very weird I dreamed my sister had a big bushy beard. I once dreamed I was sailing in a boat Made of cauliflower that would not float.

12 0 89 words
PIRGIR
PIRGIR

Where Did They Go?

Why are all the scissors lost. I lose them all at a pricey cost. Why can't any of my hair things be found. I lose those by the pound. What happened to my bracelets and rings.

6 2 121 words
gazplend
gazplend

Pure Silliness!

Who's been eating my lovely choc ices. I know it could not have been mices Not only can they not open the fridge door Everybody knows they like rocket lollies more So was it maybe one of my kids.

28 11 102 words
PoppyA
PoppyA

Untitled

You're slim as can be, You don't work your body at all, You've even got some toning, It's just so Goddamn cruel. I jog and watch my food, Decline cos' i'm being good.

36 14 71 words
sara_lou
sara_lou

My Dig Back

My dad kept having digs at how much time I spend "attached" to my iPhone so I wrote this and sarcastically stuck it to the fridge.

6 0 85 words
jojo72
jojo72

The Sloth Upon My Couch

There's a sloth upon my couch, This time it isn't me. He slumps and grumps and munches snacks While watching my tv. His hair hangs like a floor mop, His mouth can only mutter.

36 19 165 words
jojo72
jojo72

The Whale In My Bathroom

There's a whale in my house, In my bathroom to be precise. I struggle to find some space, This isn't really nice. This whale has taken lodging, It has refused to move.

30 13 111 words
gazplend
gazplend

Man Vs Food

Man vs food,I could do that job Stuffing massive burgers into my gob. 6 foot burrito and 8 ft hot dog Bet he spends hours after on the bog.

34 5 76 words
naaviie
naaviie

Morning Me

#household. Please don't look at my hair,. As I scurry out of my night-time lair,. I'll rush past that mirror on the stair,. I am a beast, you should beware,. When morning time comes,.

32 4 82 words
mpallister24
mpallister24

I Taught My Cat To Clean My Room

I taught my cat to clean my room, to use a bucket, brush and broom, to dust my books and picture frames, and pick up all my toys and games.

6 0 88 words
HeatherAnne
HeatherAnne

S H O P P I N G

Shopping, shopping, shopping. Not just an average chore, Oh, not a chore for me, my dear; It's really something more.

32 2 87 words
leelee101
leelee101

Ministry Of Crap Design #2

How many times have you commented And found yourself feeling demented At the close proximity Of 'send' and 'backspace' iPhone keys Try to send a comment to An author, but only halfway thru You'll...

24 4 91 words
missjods
missjods

I Dont Want To Go To School Today

Im staying home from school today. Id rather be in bed Pretending that i have a pain thats pounding in my head. Ill say i have a stomach ache. Il claim ive got the flu.

44 11 96 words
lionotribo
lionotribo

Confusing Lyrics

There are some lyrics, That have no panache, And they come from our friend, The great Johnny Cash, He wrote a good song, Called "the Ring of Fire" In which there's some lyrics, That are woefully...

10 2 158 words
leelee101
leelee101

Printer

My printer's mind is all its own. I'm positive I'm not alone. You're hooked up to my PC. You should take commands from me. Paper's straight, ink is full. Yet you give me so much bull.

16 10 116 words
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