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Oh no, It's happened again, Why!. When's it always just me, Alone, At home!. That horrible moment, When you hear a cough, From your pet, In my case a cat, Oh shit, I ran, Screaming Noooo!!.
Why am I up so early On a Saturday morn. Why am I up this early At the fecking crack of dawn. I'll tell you why, my sweet I've had claws at my feet.
#household @glen When little Sandra went to her Mummy, She said, Can I get a pet for my birthday. Her Mummy was slightly unsure, She said, I'll see what Daddy says.
I hate my cat,. I truly do,. And if you met it,. I know you would to,. She scratches out my eyes,. Attacks the TV,. Poops everywhere but the litter box,. If you know what I mean,.
Just got back from a dog walk in the rain. Drizzling for all it's worth round here, typical British summer...
What the hell are you doing to our neighbours cat, she just text me.
If cats sleep a lot. Wouldn't they be bored with life or what. They lay there with nothing to do. Unlike me and you. Laying there with no care. I am telling you that's not fair.
DOG: AM I GAY. I don't know. Are you attracted to man dogs.
The cat. He stares at you with wide eyes as you enter the house. You suspect something...
DOG: have you noticed how I don't lift my leg when I wee. Because you fall over DOG: no Yes. I saw you try it once.
I did this in two seconds. Just thought he deserved some praise. However, he doesn't deserve diamonds, For he'd eat them in two days. We all love him to pieces. He's Pippin, the perfect puppy.
My nose nose is dripping and red There's a pulse throbbing in my head I'm fed up of blowing my nose All I want to do is doze But my cat has other ideas Which practically drives me to tears She wants...
I take my dog for walks at night So I don't wake to heaps of shite... Strategically dropped instead Where I step once i'm out of bed.
1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping. 2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny...not funny at all. 3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!. 4.
Just thought I'd share this with you. Okay. So, there I was. Dancing crazily to Arcade Fire with my hair tied on top of my head and a dustpan and brush in my hands. Don't ask.
She stretches and pads over, Tail waving in the air, Rendering owner speechless, With her bright-eyed feline stare.
Great big paws. Scratching at the door. Waiting to go out And wallow through the mud.
Pusscat, Pusscat, Sitting on me lap,. You were soaking wet when you came in the cat flap,. Now youve gone and got all the water on me,. And youve got a lot of fur in me drink of tea,.
At my back door this morning Sits a cat called Dave He's from a house just up the road But he doesn't misbehave Until it's time to put him out And he's underneath my table Then he'll play his chair...
I have a cat called sweeny Todd And I'm telling you he is very odd Only been with me a couple of years He looks rough as hell but always purrs But the trouble is he likes to shit Right under my bed...
The dog has nicked my knickers. I don't know what to do. I don't see how she thinks my pants Are something she should chew.
Once again I tell you no, Once again I tell you stay, You seem to ignore my commands, You drive me nuts all night and day.
DOG: buy me a drum kit No. DOG: buy me a drum kit NO DOG: if I played the drums, we could be RICH Dogs do not play drums DOG: that's what you said about texting. Look how that turned out YES.
DOG: buy me a drum kit No. DOG: buy me a drum kit NO DOG: if I played the drums, we could be RICH Dogs do not play drums DOG: that's what you said about texting. Look how that turned out YES.