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Life and love are so amazing. But So is my new double glazing. Marriage and sex can be so fantastic. But so are my new doors in lovely white plastic. I love to see pretty girls in summery frocks.
I was singing the "Whats's up kitty cat" song and my cat walked in and meowed... I was proud.
Dear diary, Master takes me for a walk today. I use my super-sensy powers to sniff out a SQUIRREL Master uses me to distract nasty men, distracting nasty men is what I do.
I stopped dead in my tracks. Everyone was still staring at me. "Don't you people have something else to do?!?!?!" I yelled furiously. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!. WE'RE SORRY. SO SORRY!!!!!!.
Dear Diary, Today, as always, we trailed to the centre of a volcano (to check for an update of successful missions completed by our co-villains, funnily enough, there were none) and I didn't think...
ACCOMPLISHED : bought cat food STILL TO DO: defeat superbrat world domination Mum phoned today, she never understands. Always telling me to go back to uni, find a nice girl and settle down.
G'day Diary. I know I rant and rave about this every time I write an entry... But why did I get stuck with crappy GORILLA BOY. Even JJ got fracking 'Plant Powers'. Cool mojo. What do I get.
Dear Diary It's getting hard to write to you these days as my days are full of ridding the world of evil. It's a daily battle.
Saturday, July 28 2012 So today Dr. Doomie tried to win against Super Duper Man today. Something about a death ray. Thats all I picked up from this rant. I dont like being Dr Doomies cat.
Dear diary, Super-duper-manly-guy totally stole the girl I was about to rescue from a wasp. He thinks he's so cool. I do most of his work for him. You know what happens when he goes home.
My evil scheme was finally put into place today and I now await the results. Everyone Ive asked agrees that this makes me the most terrible fiend to have made the journey from Zarktog to planet Earth.
Choking backstage, riding a wave of adrenaline and nerves, I peeked out of the curtain. So many faces, obscured by the bright lights, waiting eagerly for me to walk on.
Notorious Nic went out in the night, To watch the Olympic Torch concert, Jumped in her red knickers, And told Daring D, Quick, grab a chicken, And follow me.
The local golf course was haunted by an evil leprechaun who liked to exploit the ambitions of the poorer players.
So excited about the Olympic ceremony After all it cost me lots of money. It better be super shit hot.
Jeg hedder Jonas !!!!!!!.
A long time ago there was a hotel and one day a German man who didn't know much English went to the hotel.
I was in bed the other night, when I found myself needing to use the toilet. Now, I'm talking about 3 in the morning. It's a god awful moment.
"Children, children, settle down now. This lesson, we will be decorating biscuits. Yes Molly I know it's exciting. Now, WALK to your tables and there will be a biscuit, some icing and some sweeties.
@naaviie as promised... Things were getting desperate Over at the D-Den It was becoming increasingly hard To fight crime, you ken.
My Drearest Shlee Shlee I sheem to have lost all power of speeeech I'm shlurring and can't shee shit I'm squite a dribbling mess Drinking Strongbow I confesh Sho how are you doooing on the vino.
PaddyIrishMan,PaddyEnglishMan,and PaddyScottishMan heard that God was angry at the people of the modern world and was going to create another great flood.
Tick Tick Tock Tock Go the clocks.... There are at least 10 CLOCKS in my house As you can imagine, It's not quiet as a mouse. Tick Tick Tock Tock I run around, getting dressed, To be on time. Hah.
Heeeeeyyyy boo boo, whad'dya do wit dose picanik baskeets. Gee, I dunno yogi!. Yogi bear, what a legend!.