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When people say your weird, it's because we're all different. When people say your mean, they are just being very sensitive. When people say your strange, they're right, you have to accept it..
Mom: oh my god your pregnant!!!. Me: ummm no im not... Mom: =_='.
English: icecream.
"Books are useless. I only ever read one book, To Kill a Mockingbird and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds.
I miss the days when homework was just colouring….
Bring me down, Call me a geek, But in the future, When you're on benefits, I can say, Who's laughing now…?.
There is no law that prohibits a woman from being a bro. Thusly, a bro shall dub a a female bro his wing-woman.
Oh a spider. You are tiny. I am a great big person. I am a grown up. I can handle this. You are tiny. I am a great big pe- OMG IT MOVED!!.
Person: "You've changed." Me: "Yes.. I can't help it, I'm a transformer!".
Me: why does it go from house 128 to house 124. Where is house 126. My sister: It's like platform 9 and 3/4 you have to run really fast at the hedge in between 128 and 124 to get there..
1) A pig's orgasm can last for up to half an hour. 2) It is illegal to look at a moose from a flying vehicle in Alaska. 3) Lightning hits the earth every four seconds.
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME. PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME. PEANUT BUTTER JELLY. PEANUT BUTTER JELLY. thank u for ur time :).
Love is like a fart, if it has to be forced its probably shit..
Without that little voice in your head you wouldn't be able to read this.
DejA poo - the feeling that you've heard this crap before.
I like rumours - I find out so much about me that even I didn't know!.
Rapunzel: So mother, earlier I was saying tomorrow is a really big day, and you didn't really respond, so I'm just gonna tell you: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. Tada. Mother Gothel: No no no, can't be.
Rapunzel: Something brought you here, Flynn Rider. Call it what you will... fate... destiny... Flynn Rider: A horse. Tangled.
"Reality" is like a computer simulation game but a little more realistic and with real trophies..
Police officer : how high are you. Me: no officer, it's "hi, how are you?".
I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, & the wall gets in the way..
I miss when I was little, the reason I had to go to the toilet was to pee, now it's to check if my hair is okay. :/.
If life was made up of food, Sex is Bacon.
It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad..