Catch Me Singing
If anyone catches me singing in my car, my immediate reaction is to stare at them until it is equally awkward for both of us..
38
2
25 words
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Birthday Surprise
We all have that face when we try to look happy when we open a birthday card with no money..
10
0
20 words
Limited Edition
Being called weird is like being called Limited Edition. Meaning you`re something people don`t see that often. Remember that..
22
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19 words
An Outstanding Organ
The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth, until you step in the exam hall..
24
1
25 words
Light Hearted
Those who are light of heart will be light of troubles..
2
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11 words
?
Is gray the new black-and-white. #fashion.
10
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5 words
To Believe
Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer..
12
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12 words
Beat Them
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. ~George Carlin.
16
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12 words
Half Full
The question is not whether the glass is half full or half empty, the question is who the fuck drank the half that's missing?!.
8
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24 words
Hope's Hopes
I hope Hope hopes that we hope Hope will save us!.
2
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11 words
Oops
When sharing past wrongs with your spouse, NEVER, go first..
4
1
10 words
Untitled
"Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too." -Henry Louis Mencken.
4
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18 words
Other People's Habits...
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. --- Mark Twain.
8
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11 words
Ghost
What did one ghost say to another ghost. Do you believe in people?.
2
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13 words
Untitled
"to quote the late, great Colonol Sanders... I'm too drunk to taste this chicken" -Ricky Bobby.
6
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16 words
Writer's Block?
I'm sure I have a novel in me but my procrastination stops me from finding out ....
0
0
17 words
Conscience
Most people sell their souls, and live with a good conscience on the proceeds..
4
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14 words
Scary Pussy
The meowing from opuss scares the shit out of me..
2
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10 words
Be Nice, Sort Of
If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all. Post it on the internet!.
0
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18 words
Hospitality
Hospitality is making your guest feel at home, even though you wish they were..
18
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14 words
Work Like A Blind Kid
"Doing work is like making a blind kid read a book. The two just aren't compatible." ~ Andrew Neal.
2
0
19 words