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The inside of my nose feels twice as big as the out My feet throb as if I'm suffering from gout. My brow is ice cold but inside feels red hot My top lip is covered in sticky snot.
Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas.
"Your toupee Is in my teepee. Please get it out of there." "Why has your teepee Got my toupee.
Just woken up Wriggling about Stretching my legs and Doing nout My eyes are heavy And throat is sore What's that I hear. A knock at the door.
Guess who's back. Back again, Drunk Molly's back, Back again. Tell your Opussian friends, Drunk Molly's back, She's back, she's back, C'uz this sounds nothing like eminems rap songs Oops lol....
"Texas. Drew Texas wait up!" I yelled down the bustling hallway the next day, capturing everybody's attention - on purpose.
#household I like a bit of RUMPY PUMPY There upon the floor But if things get a bit frisky There's nothing I hate more Carpet burns..
Hate being stuck at home on the sick Constant phone calls get on my wick Calls from India from people called rupert. And jerome.
#HOUSEHOLD. Harry was a Great Magician. His tricks were World renowned. When he's on stage his audience don't make a sound. Making people disappear was his favourite trick.
I love and hate my ninja socks, They're really rather cool, But every time I put them on, I'm slipping like a fool, Soft and pale blue, I really do adore, Walking round all ninja-like, Silent...
It's body's made of metal, it's voice spells out your death, you'll see it's glowing eye on you, with your final breath.
Omg I ache all over and feel like poo. Only one thing it can be. Dreaded man flu. Much worse than normal flu in women My face is on fire and my heads spinning.
So, up marches Prudence the Penguin. With his luggage tucked under his wings.. "What do you keep in your suitcase.
Two nuns arrive at Heaven's gates and are met by St Peter. He tells them that to gain entry to Heaven they must each answer a question correctly. The nuns look confused but go along with it.
A Parody of the Minecraft Adventures Part 1: Introduced to a Creeper It was daytime in the world of blocks as me and my mentor, Tom, strolled happily through a forest of green hills and rushing...
Perry oh Perry where have you gone. Phineas and Ferb are looking for you. You disappear everyday. And sneak away from our grasp. But where oh where do you go. Major Monaham is calling you Perry.
I feel rather ill. I feel kinda sick. I hate feeling ill. It makes me feel ick. I feel really bad. My heads in a spin. This virus has got me. It's making me thin. My legs are all achey.
Sitting in a prison, faces dead and bare, Better keep my eyes averted, Better had not stare. But the urge to let one go in here is so very very great.
You know how it's always hilarious when someone walks into a glass door. But when you walk into a glass door it's the most unfunny thing ever.
A convo between 2 brothers.... Big Brother: Did you know that Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus are engaged. Little Brother: Who's Liam Hemsworth. Big Brother: He play Gale in The Hunger Games.
This was written by Himaruya Hidekazu. The author of Hetalia. Germany, Germany, Germany is a really, really nice place.
An elderly lady took 2 stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow....
I nearly had a heart attack And I'm not taking it too far.. I was zooming down the motorway.. There was a wasp trapped in my car!!. I screeched in to the lay by You don't know the panic I feel...
ALARM. Snooze. ALARM. Snooze. ALARM. Get up. Shower. Get dressed. Dry the hair. Wake up kids. Turn on DVD. 5 minutes earned. Go downstairs while avoiding toys. Made it.