Mess
"Good grief Son, your room is a mess!" Said Mother to Son one day.
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Played And Paid
#household What's on earths that awful stink, thats coming from my bathroom sink. Could it be the outside drain. We have had such a lot of rain Is it bunged up with soap.
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Fancy Dress
So tonight I'm out in fancy dress. Thought and time I did invest. Thinking of what i could wear. As some costumes I can't bear. I found an outfit perfect for me. It shows off my silly personality.
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Against Blonde Jokes
Even though I'm a brunette, I'm against blonde jokes. I found a joke which is quite funny: Q. Do you know the true reason for all of these blonde jokes.
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Bunnies
() () ( * *) o(0) Never () () (..) (") ("). Underestimate (\_(\ ( -_-) <=( 0 ) => (").l.
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The " Nile " virus is coming ......
I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one.
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(16+) Goodnight
It is the time I have to say See you again Another day Will I be happy Will I feel blue Tomorrows not here I've not got a clue But one things for sure I can tell you this I'm back out of bed...
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✧*̣̩˚̣̣⁺̣˚̣̣*̣̩⋆̩Dust!⋆̩*̣̩˚̣̣⁺̣˚̣̣*̣̩✧
#Household Hmm... Dust, I bet you have a most interesting story to tell. About the place where you came from and about where you fell. A strange poem I'm writing about i'm sure you'll see.
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Spanish Shopping
A woman marries a Spanish man and they move to Spain. She can't speak Spanish, so whenever she wanted a chicken drumstick, she points to her thighs.
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WE WAS BRUNG UP PROPER !!
WE WAS BRUNG UP PROPER !!"And we never had a whole Mars bar until 1993"!!.
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Hic
I had a little box. It was full of beer. Now my box is empty. But I am full of cheer. The Irish are doing well. Italy won me big. I topped this months poker league. That's why I'm attempting a jig.
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Ipuss Battle Rap(1)
Warning swear words and stuff.
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302 words
Scrabble
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When...
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163 words
Hugger Arms™
Our @misslittleDHP Was sending hugs quite freely But with arms not so strong She wouldn't last long At the Opuss convention you see Then a girl from North California Said, 'Listen Kim, I warn ya If...
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115 words
Atchoo!
The sneezes that were in the post arrived this afternoon I swear I'd still be sneezing if I lived upon the moon I think I'll take up residence inside a little bubble For with no doors those pesky...
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128 words
Tedious People Should Text More Than Talk
Time to tame the monkey mind again as I'm looking in your eyes. Your mouth is moving yet I find it oddly soothing to live inside my mind. The topic you alight upon was interesting before.
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My...
Reposting for @Nom 's #twistedOpuss idea As I lie here, letting thoughts wander... Your warmth caresses me, Your scent comforts me, And nothing can hurt me.
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Women
Grey, White, Black, Dark Grey, Light Grey, Medium Gray, Dark Medium Gray, Light Medium Grey, Dim Grey, Dark Grey, Davy's Grey, Ash Grey, Fag Ash Grey, Battleship Grey, Gainsboro, Charcoal, Dark...
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109 words
My 300th Opuss- I Ran For The Chapstick
I ran for the Chapstick mom keeps in her purse. My lips were so chapped that they couldn't feel worse.
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Lunch with Friends
A group of girlfriends, all age 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch.
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200 words
Ministry Of Crap Design #1
Shiny teapot, short and stout Water in, tea comes out In a single, steady flow.
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118 words
Disclaimer
In my poems entitled 'bikini vets' I was in no way implying that vets are evil owl killing perverts intent on world domination. In No way is that true.
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51 words
My Conversation With The Kik Team Robot
Kik: We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. Me: Ok so how do explain getting taller. Kik: I'm a bot.
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Get Real
Obviously my last one. May have been blunt. Some of you won't like it. You'll think I am a cunt. Pregnancy is hard. For women this is true. But how do you think your parents. Fucking made you.
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