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Unfortunately, this week, the ToLife show will not run tomorrow. Sam has a driving test the following day, and so he'll be up at around... 6AM.
There was an old blind woman who owned a farm. Her husband had been sick for years and he eventually died. She cried for days and decided to chop off his finger to keep as a memento.
This started as a collaboration with miss little, I hope you don't me mind posting a slightly different version The strong hand of windy fate, Brought together misslittle and merlin1038.
One day a biker dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil... Satan: "Why so glum?" Biker : "What do you think.
STOP BARKING IM TRYING TO SLEEP DOG: I'm doing the twilight bark Like in 101 Dalmatians. That's a REAL thing. DOG: duh, yeah Who are you talking to. DOG: Ted the Terrier next door What did he say.
I want to be a famous rock star. Making musical poetry with my guitar. Making crowds jump and cheer. To what they want to see and hear. Turn my amps all up to max. Tickling and hammering on my axe.
A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I...
Two brooms hanging in a cupboard and were having a chat and decided to get married They arrived at the church the bridebroom looking gorgeous in a long flowing bridebroom's dress and the...
(In the queen vic) "The Phone Rings" Dalek Alfie: HELLO DALEK ALFIE HERE (pauses) NO I DO NOT WANT TO SIGN UP FOR CASH FOR GOLD I AM MADE OF GOLD YOU HUMAN FOOL.
"Good grief Son, your room is a mess!" Said Mother to Son one day.
WARNING: NOT NICE...
I didn't make these up. A resident in a posh hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning and read from the menu.
It's not very good, however there were a few funny jokes I found (some aren't even jokes, but still..) I didn't make ANY of these up, so I can't can't take the credit....or the blame... 1. Anagram...
Cathy awoke with a start, one of those unpleasant ones with her heart throbbing almost too hard for her chest to handle. She was tense, aroused and wet, but also scared and confused.
I am auditioning for a musical called honk. And no it isnt about a horrible smell To calm nerves I may need some plonk Some Valium, and some kalms aswell.
What the hell are you doing to our neighbours cat, she just text me.
The glint in her eye, Her legs went sky high, when I met the key to my heart. I knew from that moment, as quick as it was, that no more I could openly fart.
Why oh why oh why did I have to get up so early, I hate waking up so early. It fills my head with naughty thoughts and it becomes a struggle to get rid of them.
A man visits his doctor low in spirit and a sad heart. The doctor refuses to medicate him but offers a few simple life remedies.....
Dedicated to @leelee101 So my good friend Lee Gave a challenge to me Read on with a smile (this may take me a while!) May I just add before I start..
DOG: AM I GAY. I don't know. Are you attracted to man dogs.
#household After watching Cougar Town I pondered wearing a frown Now where can I get a glass like that.
Sports day. If it's warm, it's an excuse to have a big 'fuck-you' water fight. And trust me, when you get to have a water fight with Rena... Well, you get the drift...
The sneezes that were in the post arrived this afternoon I swear I'd still be sneezing if I lived upon the moon I think I'll take up residence inside a little bubble For with no doors those pesky...