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mort
mort

Pregnancy

It starts with a sperm. Swimming through your tubes. Can be kinda messy. When it sticks to your pubes. But you know you wanna do it. There's a reason why. You wanna get pregnant.

28 11 103 words
Delilah
Delilah

The Court Of Versailles

Wakey Wakey Rise and shine, To the table Double time, Slippers on, Dressing gown, Stairs two at a time.

26 24 148 words
TheCodsPollocks
TheCodsPollocks

Childhood Poem

Isn't it strange how words from more than 50 years ago can just pop into your head for no apparent reason: Ten men went to mow, Went to mow a meadow, Ten men Nine men Eight men Seven men Six...

18 5 99 words
eddie12309
eddie12309

Just Me

Well everyone else is doing it.

24 7 100 words
sjw
sjw

Teens.

Teenage years Most parents fear. Not that I would know Still have awhile to go. My daughters not even one So worries I have none. Thinking back to mine I didn't exactly shine....

44 23 111 words
HeatherAnne
HeatherAnne

No Lunch Time For Me...

Lunch time, lunch time, Time to eat away, Not so much with braces though, Can't give food the time of day.

22 6 90 words
Cinders
Cinders

Waiting.

Every time I knew I was going to see him I'd start to get anxious. I never knew what I could expect from him, just the thought of going to see him gave me nervous butterflies.

34 9 294 words
gazplend
gazplend

Massive Hairy Beast!

Was feeling brave so I went for a look Back to the woods where the beast first struck 'Come on gaz,your a man not a mouse' The beast didn't follow me Back to my house No worries,no problems and...

30 24 147 words
eddie12309
eddie12309

Recipe For A Happy Life

I have noticed there are not many recipes on Opuss, so here's mine:. 1 ton of love. 1 ton of laughter. Pinch of spice. As many fruits of your choice. As many vegetables of your choice.

42 20 123 words
iPuss
iPuss

Gotta Love Kids

What is with children... And the games they play. What is with children... And the funny stuff they say. What is with children... Acting all crazy. What is with children... Never feeling lazy.

24 1 132 words
misslittleDHP
misslittleDHP

This Is Me

I'm misslittleDHP. Kimbo to those close to me. I'm a mixed bag if you will. I can be boring but need a thrill. I'm feisty and strong. I can be right but often wrong. I like to chat an awful lot.

60 34 306 words
iPuss
iPuss

Some People... Argh?!

What is with idiots... Asking annoying questions. What is with idiots... And their unhelpful good intentions. What is with idiots... Saying the wrong thing. What is with idiots...

24 6 114 words
twistedtail
twistedtail

Macavity - The Mystery Cat

This is my favourite poem. I heard it when I was younger and I liked it so I thought I'd share it with you. Hope you like it. Macavity - the Mystery Cat, by T.S.

2 0 484 words
Delilah
Delilah

Personalities Anonymous

300 is the magic number... Hey there I am Me, I've been Me for many years, I do a lot of things You may find weird, I fear.

54 35 481 words
Burrfoot
Burrfoot

My Little White Secondhand Washing Machine

My little white secondhand washing machine, I wonder what horrors and stains you have seen. Did your previous owners appreciate you. Or did you turn their precious whites to blue.

32 6 139 words
eddie12309
eddie12309

Oh Er Mrs

24 is the hours I felt ill yesterday 6 is the number if pills to try and make the pain go away 5 is the number of miles I'm about to run 10 is the probably the number of times I'll be saying no to...

10 6 79 words
Bunts
Bunts

Bad Pussy

My nose nose is dripping and red There's a pulse throbbing in my head I'm fed up of blowing my nose All I want to do is doze But my cat has other ideas Which practically drives me to tears She wants...

30 14 70 words
katielou
katielou

Keys

You know they're there, Hiding at the bottom. It makes you swear, They think they're forgotten.

32 7 71 words
misslittleDHP
misslittleDHP

I'm A Whizz kid !

I am a flippin whizz I am down with the kids I'm not one to brag But I'm happy and glad As I sussed an app out For this I have to shout See I'm not a whizz With gadgets and giz I haven't a clue What...

22 7 97 words
Bluegerbil
Bluegerbil

Stupid Spot

I hate you spot, I hate the lot. Stupid little acne breakout, You make me want to scream and shout.

40 4 103 words
hannahrt
hannahrt

The Waiting Room

Hospital waiting room, Been sat here way too long. The appointment waiting time, Is most definitely wrong. 40 minutes is what they predicted, That i'd be sat in here.

24 2 108 words
MrsS
MrsS

Another Alphabet One (!!!)

A is for All - my love for you B is for Boobs, of which I have two C is for Cock-a-Doodle-Doo D is for Don’t know what else I should do...

66 18 230 words
MrsS
MrsS

Alphabet Challenge - This Was FUN!!!

A All my love for you I hold B Baby, keep me warm when I am cold C Close and snuggly under the covers D Don’t it feel like we are Lovers. E Each and every single day F Fornicate without delay.

14 16 195 words
Stablish
Stablish

Monday's Child

Mondays child is bound to quit, Tuesdays child is full of shit, Wednesdays child is dumb and slow, Thursdays child no one knows, Fridays child hasn't a shit to be giving, Saturdays child's a dick,...

48 34 59 words
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