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A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiance, but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it.
What is happening to this body of mine. The hair on my head has gone really fine. But on my top lip the hair is so thick I look like Freddie mercury Get me a shaver quick.
I wish I was engaged to Opuss, We'd get on without a fuss. No domestic issues, Then Opuss, I'd never miss you. We care for each other dearly, And so I ask sincerely: Can I marry this paw print app.
My hamster has a skateboard. When he rides it, though, he falls. He takes off like a maniac and crashes into walls. He screams, "Geronimo!" and then goes crashing down the stairs.
Opuss vs footie.
Before I knew that asking drill type questions to toddlers really wasn't a good idea, I had a couple experiences that should have clued me in.
DO...............
My name is gaz. Fresh and clean like daz. Demanding respect. With wit and intellect. People stop and look. Cause I'm reading my book. On 17th century poetry. In motion under my oak tree.
I'd like to apologise,. for the grammar I've displayed,. And the fact that this poem,. Has been somewhat delayed,. I have been known to criticise,. The grammar of my peers,.
Word for today is: (and for those of you who're musical, the notes to sing 'Word For Today' to are: 'Word For Today' G A G C ) 'Doryphore' (DOR-ee-phor) Which means a person...
Opuss, you seductive mistress. Unable to write. Void of ideas. Taking solace in a Tub of Ben and Jerry's. No harm in that??!. Fuck it. I forgot. I'm lactose intolerant. Oh Opuss!. How I bleed for you.
I want to write a story. So I sit down with my phone. I'm trying my very hardest. But ideas just won't flow. I know that when I'm started. Ideas will come with ease. But 'till inspiration hits me.
I give my mate a croggy when he walks to Vernon Park, his black eyes are always open and he's game for any laugh.
1. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. 2.time is a great teacher, but unfortunatley it kills all it's pupils... 3.
Dear Mr Grammar Nazi, Please leave me alone?. All this worrying about my text, Has made me lose a stone.
I call my self G-N, Grammar Nazi galore, I don't care if you hate it, Or if I'm being a bore. I see a colon out of place, A comma falsely put, I'll ruin your day, no problem, I'll put you in a rut.
True: _______ / _ \ | |/ / ¡^''''''''^¡ \__/___. • • .
I swear I'm just unlucky, It's disheartening to know, I'm really badly jinxed, It really is poor show.
Front: "Hey, did ya know facebook and twitter had a baby?" (This text could be on the upper right corner of the shirt and have little paw prints trail around to the back of the shirt where it...
Idea 2. Front: I'm Opless. Back: for Opuss. Idea 3. Front: Opuss. Back: keep cat and carry on. Idea 4. Front:keep calm. Back: Opuss on. Idea 5. Front: The book doesn't stop here.
It all started. When I was young. When I fell out that hole. Near my mums bum. I was so wrinkly. And ever so small. As I grew up. I started to crawl. Banging my head. And stubbing my toe.
Less of that Missy Don't throw a hissy You are far too old To have to be told That you're being silly A real silly Billy Now don't throw things You know what that brings Disapproving looks Self help...
There's a man I know, he wears a hood Whose earholes indicate his mood A little guy, the Angry Midget® His ears, a rage forecasting widget Most times they're a fleshy hue But don't be fooled, because...
Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the Times.