The Dalek Diaries: 5 (updated)
Dalek Air (at the end of the aisle of the airplane is a Dalek in a small, misplaced blonde wig) Dalek 'Porschia': HUMANS YOU WILL GIVE THE DALEK UNIT KNOWN AS... POR-SCHIA YOUR FULL ATTENTION. OBEY.
Thousands of free stories. Support your favorites when you're ready.
Showing stories tagged with #comedy Clear filter
Dalek Air (at the end of the aisle of the airplane is a Dalek in a small, misplaced blonde wig) Dalek 'Porschia': HUMANS YOU WILL GIVE THE DALEK UNIT KNOWN AS... POR-SCHIA YOUR FULL ATTENTION. OBEY.
A chicken gets invited to a real fancy dinner party. He dresses up smart in hopes of fitting in and making new friends. Arriving fashionably late the chicken enters and looks around.
Daleks Discover Football Dalek 1: REPORT. WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS BAG OF AIR. Dalek 2: HU-MANS USE THIS BAG OF AIR FOR LEISURE ACTIVITIES. THE BAG OF AIR REQUIRES KICKING AROUND A FIELD.
Daleks Can't Do Jokes Dalek 1: WHY DID THE HU-MAN CROSS THE ROAD Dalek 2: THIS INFORMATION IS UNKNOWN. WHY DID THE HU-MAN CROSS THE ROAD. Dalek 1: THIS IS UNIMPORTANT.
Fashion Facist Dalek 1: LET US ATTEND THE EARTH RITUAL KNOWN AS 'GETTING PISSED." WE CAN EXTERMINATE SOME NICE EARTH BOYS.
Birds of a feather flock together...and then shit on your car. A penny saved is a government oversight.
I was in a predicament Rushing into the loo I went I sit for what seems eternity It's ok it was just a long wee Then I look to my right Oh no this can't be right No loo roll yet again I'm sat there...
Oh no. Can it be. The munchies are back. Sniffing out prey, Ready to attack. Warm toast and nutella Two rounds at least, All to sedate This grumbling beast. Crisps, chocolate's Always a winner.
I let out a sigh. "Finally here," I muttered, setting down my bag. "Let's hope that the others are here too." The studio that we were all meant to be wasn't particularly grand, to be honest.
Girl 1: My boyfriend looks best in skinny jeans. Girl 2: My boyfriend looks best in leather jackets. Girl 3: My boyfriend looks best in work out clothes. Me: My boyfriend looks best in 1080p HD.
My friend and I, we created a list. But at the time however he was rather pissed. We downed some shots before we began to write and after that stayed up all night.
I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there's no way paper can beat rock.
The beast woke from her slumber. She groaned. That irritating little noise bleeped constantly. She smashed her fist down on it and the bleeping stopped.
Little willy Big willy Thin willy Fat willy Buried willy Monster willy Spotty willy Shaved willy It doesn't matter what willy you have, apparently one size fits all.. The condom.
Pete the hippy was both clever and trippy. Camper van blasting out underworlds born slippy. Hair long and greasy and tie die vest. Can dodge the soap with the very best.
A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.
There was a young lady from Stroud, With beauty and skills so crafted; But nothing was ever so loud, As when she smiled and farted.
Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz buzzzy buzz buzz. Shut up you stupid swot-worthy smudge -to-be. How can something so small have this affect on me?. Get out of my hair you buzz-ridden wannabe.
Pretty funny lol 16+ tho lol. Who would have thought it after all the sadness saw fit what would make me laugh the hardest would be a piece of shit.
DOG: buy me a drum kit No. DOG: buy me a drum kit NO DOG: if I played the drums, we could be RICH Dogs do not play drums DOG: that's what you said about texting. Look how that turned out YES.
DOG: buy me a drum kit No. DOG: buy me a drum kit NO DOG: if I played the drums, we could be RICH Dogs do not play drums DOG: that's what you said about texting. Look how that turned out YES.
It was not until I was done i noticed that there actually were some toiletpaper left on the top shelf..
Learn how to spell. Auto correct isn't always write. --- Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
The grim reaper has a dark secret. The disgrace not spoken about at dinner parties. The non-black sheep of the family. His younger brother Nigel. Nigel is the happy reaper.