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wolfie
wolfie

The Dalek Diaries: 5 (updated)

Dalek Air (at the end of the aisle of the airplane is a Dalek in a small, misplaced blonde wig) Dalek 'Porschia': HUMANS YOU WILL GIVE THE DALEK UNIT KNOWN AS... POR-SCHIA YOUR FULL ATTENTION. OBEY.

48 10 216 words
iPuss
iPuss

Chicken

A chicken gets invited to a real fancy dinner party. He dresses up smart in hopes of fitting in and making new friends. Arriving fashionably late the chicken enters and looks around.

18 6 89 words
wolfie
wolfie

The Dalek Diaries: 4

Daleks Discover Football Dalek 1: REPORT. WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS BAG OF AIR. Dalek 2: HU-MANS USE THIS BAG OF AIR FOR LEISURE ACTIVITIES. THE BAG OF AIR REQUIRES KICKING AROUND A FIELD.

36 18 237 words
wolfie
wolfie

The Dalek Diaries: 3

Daleks Can't Do Jokes Dalek 1: WHY DID THE HU-MAN CROSS THE ROAD Dalek 2: THIS INFORMATION IS UNKNOWN. WHY DID THE HU-MAN CROSS THE ROAD. Dalek 1: THIS IS UNIMPORTANT.

42 7 63 words
wolfie
wolfie

The Dalek Diaries:2

Fashion Facist Dalek 1: LET US ATTEND THE EARTH RITUAL KNOWN AS 'GETTING PISSED." WE CAN EXTERMINATE SOME NICE EARTH BOYS.

62 18 76 words
Blackrose
Blackrose

Gentle Thoughts for Today.

Birds of a feather flock together...and then shit on your car. A penny saved is a government oversight.

4 0 252 words
misslittleDHP
misslittleDHP

Boo Hoo Loo

I was in a predicament Rushing into the loo I went I sit for what seems eternity It's ok it was just a long wee Then I look to my right Oh no this can't be right No loo roll yet again I'm sat there...

16 12 108 words
Delilah
Delilah

The Munchies

Oh no. Can it be. The munchies are back. Sniffing out prey, Ready to attack. Warm toast and nutella Two rounds at least, All to sedate This grumbling beast. Crisps, chocolate's Always a winner.

26 24 83 words
DemonCarter
DemonCarter

ToLife, Week 1

I let out a sigh. "Finally here," I muttered, setting down my bag. "Let's hope that the others are here too." The studio that we were all meant to be wasn't particularly grand, to be honest.

6 29 432 words
LIAM7
LIAM7

Jokes

Girl 1: My boyfriend looks best in skinny jeans. Girl 2: My boyfriend looks best in leather jackets. Girl 3: My boyfriend looks best in work out clothes. Me: My boyfriend looks best in 1080p HD.

20 2 240 words
renagade146
renagade146

Kick The Bucket

My friend and I, we created a list. But at the time however he was rather pissed. We downed some shots before we began to write and after that stayed up all night.

10 2 291 words
chloelouuxoxo
chloelouuxoxo

Paper, Rock And Scissors!

I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there's no way paper can beat rock.

4 8 134 words
nollaigdream
nollaigdream

The Beast

The beast woke from her slumber. She groaned. That irritating little noise bleeped constantly. She smashed her fist down on it and the bleeping stopped.

16 1 91 words
mort
mort

The Condom

Little willy Big willy Thin willy Fat willy Buried willy Monster willy Spotty willy Shaved willy It doesn't matter what willy you have, apparently one size fits all.. The condom.

2 0 30 words
gazplend
gazplend

P Hippy

Pete the hippy was both clever and trippy. Camper van blasting out underworlds born slippy. Hair long and greasy and tie die vest. Can dodge the soap with the very best.

24 13 93 words
alem0004
alem0004

Never See Football With A Blonde

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.

14 0 108 words
Barknbite
Barknbite

A Young Lady From Stroud

There was a young lady from Stroud, With beauty and skills so crafted; But nothing was ever so loud, As when she smiled and farted.

14 2 170 words
naaviie
naaviie

Buzz Off!

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz buzzzy buzz buzz. Shut up you stupid swot-worthy smudge -to-be. How can something so small have this affect on me?. Get out of my hair you buzz-ridden wannabe.

24 10 89 words
aleishagayle20
aleishagayle20

Bum Fun

Pretty funny lol 16+ tho lol. Who would have thought it after all the sadness saw fit what would make me laugh the hardest would be a piece of shit.

14 11 135 words
Danish
Danish

Texts From My Dog 66

DOG: buy me a drum kit No. DOG: buy me a drum kit NO DOG: if I played the drums, we could be RICH Dogs do not play drums DOG: that's what you said about texting. Look how that turned out YES.

66 0 54 words
Danish
Danish

Texts From My Dog 66

DOG: buy me a drum kit No. DOG: buy me a drum kit NO DOG: if I played the drums, we could be RICH Dogs do not play drums DOG: that's what you said about texting. Look how that turned out YES.

42 0 54 words
Pompe
Pompe

That Moment

It was not until I was done i noticed that there actually were some toiletpaper left on the top shelf..

0 0 20 words
LIAM7
LIAM7

Jokes

Learn how to spell. Auto correct isn't always write. --- Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

14 2 100 words
bryanrobertheap
bryanrobertheap

The Grim Reaper's Younger Brother

The grim reaper has a dark secret. The disgrace not spoken about at dinner parties. The non-black sheep of the family. His younger brother Nigel. Nigel is the happy reaper.

26 7 91 words
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