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This is for the geezers.
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Jokes
When i grow up, i wanna be an imaginary friend What do you do when u have a tiger chasing you from behind, a bear on your right and cheetah on your left. GET YOUR DRUNK BUTT OF THE MERRY GO...
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Texts From My Dog 65
DOG: How's your day going. Boring. How's your day. DOG: AWESOME. Tired now Running up and down the stairs again.
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Intense 4-back In Training
This was the night. So nervous. Please let it come up. Please let it rise to the occasion. Years ago it wouldn't stay down. Would be up in the blink of an eye. Never had any trouble back then.
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That Bloody Wasp
A wasp. A wasp. A bloody wasp has flown into my house. It flings itself against the windows trying to get out.
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Political Correctness
:') I love these. Politically Correct Terms For Females: Her breasts will never sag, they will lose their vertical hold.
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The Cereal Killer
Shadows looming over him, the figure stood with his cold eyes glaring. There it was; right there. It was so easy, so simple. He could just do it - no witnesses, no one to accuse him - so he did.
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My Bad Part 2 - Love Hurts.
Saturday. ----- Tom; "Jana says I'm not romantic" Me; "You're not" Tom; "What should I do?" Me; "Nothing". Tom; "Seriously, what would you do?" Me; "Nothing".
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Intense 3-the Weird Out!
Omg I can't believe this is happening. She's taking off all her clothes. Down to her underwear already. Dreamed of this for so long. Such a good body. Underwears coming off.
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My IED
After years of experimentation, countless late nights and oodles of coffee, I have finally perfected and constructed my very own Improvised Explosive Device.
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Innocent Sex -
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter.
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Blame It On The Boogie
I shouldn't dance, I'm not a mover, I've been told before I'm not a groover, So I just confine it To my room, Draw the curtains, Disco in the gloom.
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Yet Another Joke!!
I was asked to leave my local swimming pool today as the bulge in my speedos was upsetting a few people,I pointed to a man wearing similar speedos and asked why he wasn't asked to leave, to which the...
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Intense!!
My heart is beating so fast. My breathing is quick and hard. Can't take much more,I can't last. Man this thing is so intense. If I finish now she'll feel let down. Only been going for 30 seconds.
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Twitchy Witchy | 2
A wart on her nose, A garden of one thorny rose, A black pointy hat, A spoiled fat black cat, A happy little witch, So why the twitch.
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Texts From My Dog 64
DOG: tip top day. Made a new enemy Stop. Making. Enemies. DOG: he drives around in a van playing music to LURE KIDS INTO HIS WEB OF EVIL He sells ICE CREAM. DOG: YEAH.
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I Love Your Mum?!?!
I love your face I love your body I love your grace I love your erm...noddy. I love your knockers I love your brain I love your socks I love your erm...train.
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Hex
I'm feeling vexed and perplexed I need to get something off my chest Have you placed me under a Hex.
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Witches | 1
Down in the Witchy Wood,. There is a group that call themselves The Hood,. One of them saw on TV,. You see,. That modern-day trickery,. Is something to them, a mystery,.
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Texts From My Dog 63
DOG: when we meet people stop saying "this is my dog" WTF do you want me to say. DOG: say NOTHING, your my butler. That is all. Right, what do I call you.
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Male Pampering
After gardening chores on a hot summers day, My girlfriend asked me "are you okay?". "hell no" I said . I'm dirty and sore. This gardening lark is quite a hard chore.
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Potatoes!
A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are running from the police and they find a barn to hide in. They all get in sacks and the police arrive soon after.
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Dog Groomer
I am a girl of only 4ft 11 1/2. I know I know please don't laugh My job is ridiculous I'm sure you will agree I groom dogs for a living and some are bigger than me.
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Jokes
Q) What do prisoners use to call each other. A) Cell Phones. Q) What did the water say to the boat. A) Nothing, it just waved. Q) What did the grape do when it was stepped on. A) Give a little whine.
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