The Boob Thief
What a strange odd thing to find, Did someone really leave it behind.
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92 words
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Oops I Did It Again..Cock Ups Galore And A Fake Burglary
Here goes my official 1st Opussian Blog...I'm going in. Don't you just hate those people who seem so organised all the time.
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732 words
Where I've Been...
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognises you there.
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212 words
Invisible
O to be invisible. Just for half an hour. I really think that it could be. My favourite super power. I could walk around a while. Causing mischief everywhere. Imagine bags of shopping.
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100 words
Thirty five Dollah Make Me Hollah
Oh. You hurt me so good. You're Makin me moan and shudder. I'm putty in your hands You could cut me like butter. Rub me, slap me, pound me You do it so rough.
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91 words
Swimming
A redhead, a brunette and a blonde agree to have a televised race across the english channel to see who the fastest swimmer. A breaststroke race is agreed and off they go.
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134 words
Dog Groomer
I am a girl of only 4ft 11 1/2. I know I know please don't laugh My job is ridiculous I'm sure you will agree I groom dogs for a living and some are bigger than me.
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164 words
Soccer Aid Appreciation
Watching soccer aid, & it's making me drool. Gerard Butler and how you handle the ball. Your thighs look VERY good in shorts, Football may become my favourite of sports. Then comes Mr.
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106 words
Stuff It Miss Muffet
Why are you people so very afraid of me.
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149 words
Textbook Mistake
I was in an English grammar lesson, learning about 'Loose English' or something along those lines.
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102 words
Breville Noun
Breville noun always acted the clown. Never serious never saw him frown. Full of jokes and anecdotes. About people,places and 1 bout a goat. Around him you were sure to laugh.
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87 words
Vienna
Dedicated to sjw. Vienna señorita such a Beautifull girl. An amazing dancer see her twist and twirl. A girl so rare it's true to say. She'll brighten your mood and make your day.
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110 words
If Your A Lawyer, Don't Read This :)
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.
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180 words
Spurt
Streams of white fly past my belly - Come on lass, give it some welly. Hot creamy liquid only buckets can measure Fingers are squeezing... Bring my morning pleasure This animal process...
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67 words
Vampires...Not What You Think.
I know this is old, but for some strange reason I've always loved it......weird right.
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157 words
MOM!! (long)
Age 6: Waaaaaah. MOMMY. I hurt myself!. Age 9: Oww. that hurt, Mom can I have a plaster. Age 12: Sh*t I cut my finger. Age 18: I know where the plasters are... Age 6: YAY.
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304 words
Angelic Devil
There's an angel in my heart and a devil in my head. Want to say rude things but it's happiness I spread. Sometimes I want to shout and spit nasty words.
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68 words
Why Some Men Have Dogs Instead Of Wives.
Ooooo I might get it in the neck over this one, depending on your gender I suppose :) 1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2.
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214 words
The Happiest Goblin
One upon a NikNak pack, underneath a hedge, lived the happiest Goblin ever. ......... and his name was Reg.
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65 words
Pussy Cat Pussy Cat
I thought I saw a pussy cat, a pussy cat I saw. She was prowling across the lawn, with mischief in every paw. She headed for the veggie patch, the veggie patch she went.
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90 words
True Friends
True friends are good and hard to find That's what I was told by a chum of mine, We'd go to places near and far, In search of buddies, to have a good laugh.
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115 words
Writers Sock
I thought that I had writers block, But then I had an itch, It was underneath my sock, The annoying little bitch, So as I scratched and scratched away, My thoughts began to wander, And a lightbulb...
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195 words
This just popped into my mind when I saw my brother on Facebook: If Facebook was closed down, you could probably hear never ending screams of sadness, and there would be people on the street shoving...
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50 words
Well....
You say things sometimes, funny, hilarious things, and it feels like there isn't enough sound in me, or in existence, to do your comments justice or give them the credit they deserve.
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177 words