Sign In

Explore Unputdownable Stories

Thousands of free stories. Support your favorites when you're ready.

Showing stories tagged with #absurdist Clear filter

Bluegerbil
Bluegerbil

A Conversation.

Um... I was bored. Brain: What on earth are you doing?. Me: Um... Eating a cookie. Brain: WHAT?!. Why?. Me: Because I needed a cookie. Brain: ARGH!!. Why?. Me: Because I was feeling upset.

96 25 173 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Floor People

We're the British floor people, That's a thought for you to chew, We will nip at every ankle, While the crowd is passing through.

20 3 69 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

It's All About Me

I was raised by a sheep hoarder in the Swiss alps. Yes, a sheep hoarder. You did read that correctly. My mother was one of my parents and she raised me in the ways of a sheep herder.

16 6 248 words
Edhum3
Edhum3

The Process

Divine, sublime, hints of lemon & Lime the flavour of words that light up my mind. But I'm stung, and stunned On the tip of my tongue is the one... I struggle to find Where. Why.

22 6 177 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

The Monday Mantra

Please join me in proclaiming the Mantra of Monday.

18 2 145 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

In The Bread Box

#emotion #insanity In the bread box lies my mind, With all the things I've left behind, From all the days of lustrous rain, I've drained my thoughts, become insane.

32 11 158 words
LeahLovesEC
LeahLovesEC

MOUSTACHE THEIF

#household #Moustache Good grief, good grief, The Moustache Thief, Is causing a sensation, You'll see many a hairless lip, On your next trip, To the policing station.

40 12 81 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

The Conundrum For Igloo Man and Turnip Boy.

Igloo Man was outside of his comfort zone which was outside of his igloo. He was suffering from hypothermia and needed to have a piss desperately.

8 0 171 words
AWriterGirl
AWriterGirl

The Hunger "Games"

-this is originally on my poem "The Fanatical Radical". Enjoy :)- FROM KATNISS' POINT OF VIEW. It's been about a week now.

20 5 465 words
sweetcandypops
sweetcandypops

Follow Me For Tea

Hi please follow me I'll give you a cup of tea I'm good at making them How many sugars ten.

6 4 111 words
littleone
littleone

Old Joe's Disaster.

There was an old farmer called Joe, Who owned neither scythe nor hoe. He wasted away, Watched the Simpsons all day, Only pausing to say "Doe!" Old Joe's wife was Cat. She was known to be rather fat.

8 0 104 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

The Runaway Onion And The Nasty Fall

As I sat eating my morning beans I glanced out of my window and noticed a small onion being chased down the street by armed police.

16 8 367 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

Stairs 2 :The Sequel To Stairs

When I was a young lad we didn't have stairs, nope, none. You kids have it easy. Access to upstairs, access to downstairs whenever you feel like it.

6 2 428 words
MelchiorJ13
MelchiorJ13

Rubber Bands

@sjw @naaviie @Irrational_Kimmi You asked for it, And you shall see, A glimpse into my mind's, Crazy.

18 14 176 words
HeatherAnne
HeatherAnne

Uptight Alice.

'Sit beside the Hatter!', they all happily said, 'Enjoy a fine tea. Of fine butter and bread!' They didn't tell me the fellow was so gosh-darn mad. And oh-very-crazy, not just a wee tad.

36 4 130 words
Platypus
Platypus

Pirate Trevor

#household I once knew a pirate named Trevor, To rob people's ships was his endeavour, As for his fish tank, He made that walk the plank, And the fish's head he did sever.

26 5 52 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

My 100th Opuss Post That Isn't.

I know it is customary tat when you reach your 100th Opuss. A user has to thank everyone for their support and blah blah, blah but I'd thought I would do something different.

16 5 295 words
sleepydragon
sleepydragon

The Great Sock Dilemma

I watch them as they tumbled Around and around Hidden in the bubbles Where we can hear no sound What are they thinking As they gently sink below Deep in suds of rainbow Their colours telling tales...

28 14 193 words
Diddle
Diddle

To Dream Or Not To Dream

Constant rocking, to and fro, What. We live on a pirate boat. But wait, you are screaming, Why aren't you leaving. Oh we're on rocking ship, What's that. *clip* *clip* I'm now by some trains.

6 7 110 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

I Don't Like Monday's

Bob Geldof stumbled around town looking like a boomtown rat without a clue. He resembled an arctic fox that had lost in a fight with a blue whale. Deep in thought, watching passers by pass him by.

4 1 218 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

Wanta Pizza Me

I sat on the end of the big deep pan pizza. I remember it like it was yesterday because it was yesterday. It was tomato based, or its base was, I can't remember. It had toppings.

4 3 139 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

I'll Murder A Swan.

I could not find my manservant Squirrel. He was nowhere to be found. He was not in my kitchen nor was he in my sock drawer. I summoned my other manservant Parakeet.

2 1 236 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

Parrots Of Sierra Leone

"Nuts for sale, nuts for sale.... Who will buy my nuts for sale". Said the old woman sat in her box of cardboard. She was draped in a newspaper from the blitz.

24 3 176 words
blindsilence
blindsilence

It's Getting Late But I Don't Mind.

"How very dare you Sir" said Lord Chickenlimb. "How dare you steal my betrothed?".

2 0 274 words
Previous Page 3 Next